


Apnea

by spacemonkey766



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Doctor Caitlin Snow, Drama, Everyone Loves Barry Allen, F/M, Hurt Barry Allen, Hurt/Comfort, Iris West Loves Barry Allen, Kidnapping, Medical Conditions, Military, Protective Joe West, Protective Team, Team Arrow to the Rescue
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-29
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-08-09 08:00:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 27,998
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16445936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacemonkey766/pseuds/spacemonkey766
Summary: “It means the cells won’t regenerate, which means Barry can’t heal and fight this off,” Caitlin responded hesitantly.“Which means-“ Cisco said as the realization hit, eyes meeting Barry’s as his friend looked to him as he finished Cisco’s sentence.“Which means this will kill me.”When Barry gets injured on Flash duty, the team is left scrambling to figure out what is happening to their friend and who is behind this attack. With a raging fever and his powers waning, Team Flash battles a ticking clock and will go to any lengths to save Barry before they run out of time completely.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Title and lyrics from "Apnea" by Fractures.

'I wake, no feeling in my arms  
I'm safe  
Please stay, I'll bathe beneath your heaving lungs  
Don't wake, don't wake'

____________________________________________________________________________

 

From their bedroom, Iris could hear the turn of the three extra locks Barry had recently added to the door after the Clive Yorkin incident last year, followed by the sounds of her speedster trying very hard to quietly and slowly enter their apartment. She rubbed sleepily at her eyes, rolling onto her back to glance over to the nightstand on the right side of the bed. The small clock read 2:30 am and Iris realized she had fallen asleep for just under two hours. 

She heard Barry whisper a greeting to their turtle and she smiled, leaning back against the pillow. Barry had gotten an alert that the Flash was needed at a break-in at the Stagg Industries research facility a few hours ago. Iris had wanted to stay awake till he got home but she must have dozed off at some point, the book she’d been reading haphazardly dropped beside her pillow. She could hear Barry softly climbing the stairs and was grateful that at least she had woken in time for his return. She knew he was moving slow, resisting the urge to use his speed to avoid creating bright flashes or the crackling sound of the lightning he generated in case she was asleep.

“It’s okay, babe. I’m awake,” she called out to him, replacing the book on her nightstand just as he rounded the corner, a sleepy smile his response. He was dressed in gray sweatpants and his navy S.T.A.R. labs sweatshirt, hair sticking in tufts at all angles which Iris knew meant he’d run home with damp after having had showered back at S.T.A.R. Labs after returning his suit. “How’d it go out there?”

“I got everyone out safely, put the fires out, but they got away. There was four of them, heavily armed and were holding the night shift and security guards hostage,” Barry said as he approached the bed, peeling off his sweatshirt and tossing it aside. “They set off explosives but I’m not even sure what they were after.”

“You saved everyone, that’s the most important thing. The police can handle the rest,” Iris reassured, receiving a nod from Barry as he grabbed the well-worn black t-shirt he had been wearing in bed before he flashed off into the night. 

The shirt had been a gag gift Iris had gotten him when he had gotten accepted to Centra City University that in bold white letters read ‘I Make Bad Chemistry Puns Periodically’. It was threadbare but Barry had a tendency to hold onto every gift anyone ever got him. She suspected it was a mix of having very little from the life with his parents before he moved into the West household and the pure gratitude he felt at anyone even thinking of him, the boy that always felt a little left behind after losing both his parents at such a young age. But her somber thoughts were interrupted as he pulled the shirt over his head, causing the wild tufts of hair to stick out in even more directions. 

She watched as he bypassed his side of the bed and came to hers instead. She lay on her back, outstretched looking up at her husband as Barry stood over her for just a moment before falling gently, lying completely on top of her as he slid his arms between her back and the mattress. She laughed, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down to hug him tightly against her. He pushed himself up just enough to kiss her playfully. But as he nuzzled her nose, she could feel the heat radiating from his skin and all pretense of play slipped away.

“Babe, you feeling okay?” She unfolded her arms from behind his neck, her left hand resting over his chest, feeling his racing heartbeat through the thin fabric of his t-shirt while she moved to press the back of her right hand against his slightly flush cheek. “You feel a little warmer than usual.”

“Mmm, just tired,” Barry gave her a quick peck to the lips before rolling off her to lay sprawled on his back on his side of the bed. Iris turned on her side to follow his movements. “They gave me the run around tonight, pun not intended.”

“What happened to your arm?” She asked, only just noticing the white bandage that was wrapped around his left bicep, fingers touching the defined muscle around it delicately. 

“Oh, yeah. One of their bullets just grazed me,” Barry said, yawning as he stretched his right arm up and behind his head. “Cisco patched me up. I’m okay, Iris.”

“You sure?” she asked, wriggling her body till she was draped across Barry’s left side, head cushioned on his shoulder, careful not to put pressure on the injury. Barry’s left arm slid between her body and the sheets, wrapping it around her back and pulling her closer, fingers dancing along her shoulder blades as he held her close. 

“Positive,” he yawned again, smiling slightly as he pressed his lips against hers in a quick kiss before closing his eyes. “Promise.”

Iris smiled to herself as fell asleep almost instantly, reluctantly pushing down the worry as she nuzzled into the crook of his neck, pulling the sheet up around both of them and letting the comfort of his presence and the warmth of his body lull her back to sleep.

What felt like too quickly, Iris awoke and found herself letting out a yawn, stretching her arms out in front of her, hands clasped in fists as she worked the kinks out of her shoulders. Usually, when she did that her hands would push against her partner’s side but as she peeled her eyes open she saw Barry’s side of the bed was vacant. She pushed her self up on one arm and saw that his phone was still on the nightstand charging, the clock now read 8 am. Sundays usually meant Barry allowed himself to sleep in if nothing required the Flash’s attention. She listened but heard no evidence of the man in the loft below, no sparks of lightning or speedster sounds, no quiet shuffling. 

“Barry?” she called out as she threw back the covers. Not getting a response she grabbed the discarded S.T.A.R. Labs sweatshirt from last night, sliding it over her head to settle over her tank top as the bottom seam came to rest mid-legging-covered thigh. 

“Babe?” she tried again as she headed down the stairs. As she got to the second-to-last step, just in view of their entire apartment from around the wall, Iris spotted Barry crumpled on the floor.

“Barry!” Iris ran towards the prone body that lay face down on the floor near their dining room table, his right arm awkwardly bent behind his back, left arm by his side where the bottle of turtle food lay turned over and contents spilled on the floor just inches from his hand. 

Iris dropped to her knees in front of the sprawled body and with desperate yet gentle hands she rolled Barry onto his back. He was unconscious, sweat visible across his brow. She carefully cupped Barry’s cheek with one hand and the other reached for his neck, relieved to find a strong pulse but concerned with how rapidly it was racing.

“Come on, please wake up,” she begged as she checked that his breathing was okay, and examined him for injuries, only seeing a bruise forming on his forehead she guessed was a result of his fall. “Barry!”

She cupped the sides of his face with both hands, gently shaking him, desperate to rouse him. She battled with the desire to stay by his side or to go and run for her phone to call either her father or Caitlin for help. Iris patted the side of his face and called out for him again. Just as she moved to pull away, Barry moaned, his head lolling to the side as he began to rouse. 

“Barry, can you hear me?” Iris pleaded, thumbs stroking the sides of his flush cheeks.

“I…Iris?” Barry’s voice was little more than an exhaled breath rather than spoken, his eyes opening just barely to look up at her.

“Oh, thank god,” Iris sighed, stroking his face.

“What happened?” Barry’s voice was stronger now as he came to, sliding his arms back across the floor and pushing himself up onto his elbows. Iris slid an arm around him and helped him to sit up, rubbing circles across his back

“You tell me! I came downstairs and found you unconscious on the floor.” 

“I don't know. I woke up, felt warm and dizzy, so I came down to get a bottle of water and eat something. I was about to feed the turtle and,” Barry lifted a hand to rub at his head, “I must have passed out.”

“Baby, you're even warmer than you were last night. How do you feel?” Iris asked, moving his hand aside to feel his forehead with the back of her hand.

“I’m fine,” he pulled her hand from his head, holding it in his as he brought it to his lips and pecked it softly. Barry tried then to give a reassuring smile. “I probably didn’t eat enough after last night’s Flash-ing around and my blood sugar’s low.”

Iris wasn’t really satisfied with that as an answer. There were times that Barry Allen got lost in the bustle of his CSI work and being the Flash where he failed to eat enough but it didn’t happen often and did not usually result in a fever. She gave him a once over and then noticed the spotting on the previously white bandage wrapped around his bicep. As she gently peeled back the bandage she saw the bullet wound angry and red.

“Barry, this should have been healed by now with your powers,” her voice was heavy with concern as Barry just shrugged at her, unsure of how to respond because he knew she was right. She re-covered the wound and placed both hands on his shoulders. “Stay here. I’m going to get changed real quick, grab our stuff and then we’re going to S.T.A.R. Labs.”

Barry opened his mouth to protest but the look he received from Iris quickly shut him up. He’d seen that look far too many times growing up and was even more afraid of it now that they were a couple. Instead, he nodded and waited.

____________________________________________________________________________

“Well, it's not hypoglycemia. There are no signs of head trauma, head CT came back normal. No abdominal pain or nausea?” Caitlin asked as she shined the penlight in his eyes.

“Nope. ” Barry answered, wincing slightly as Harry swabbed the arm wound with a Q-tip before placing it in a plastic tube. “Um, ow! Since when did you start playing doctor?”

“Since you idiots seem to get hurt more and more since I first met you. Snow’s good but she’s only one person,” Harry said before wiping an anesthetic wipe across his arm wound and re-bandaging it. “I know enough about medical biology to be more helpful to her than Ramon over here. And this looks infected, Allen.”

“Harry’s right. Even with an infection, at your rate of accelerated healing this should have been completely healed within a few hours of receiving it,” Caitlin interrupted before Harry could insult anyone else, already adding a second IV bag to the pole as Barry’s bodily greedily and quickly went through the first. “How long have you been feeling sick?”

“I haven’t,” Barry shrugged. He could feel all eyes in the MedBay room on him. He was seated in the padded white examination chair, the studying eyes of Caitlin and Harry as they scrutinized their patient, the expectant eyes of Cisco and Ralph who stood around the room waiting for answers from their leader. He could feel Iris’ focused eyes on him, holding his right hand in hers as she stood beside the chair. But it was the worried eyes of Joe that stood directly in front of the chair whose gaze felt the most oppressive to Barry. He hated being the cause of concern for any of them but making Joe worry was the worst feeling, almost wishing Iris hadn’t called him on their way here but understanding why she did.

“Barr,” Joe responded, his tone incredulous and warning as he crossed his arms, the tone that every father seemed to have perfected when they didn’t believe their children.

“I’m serious,” Barry defended. “I felt fine yesterday and even last night. I got home after the break-in, was feeling tired so I went to bed.”

“He was warmer than usual but not enough to make me worry too much,” Iris supplied. “Then I found him this morning, passed out and still warm.”

“Your blood pressure, brainwave function, and nerve conduction are all within the normal range for you,” Caitlin announced, examining the readings from the screen. “But your heart rate and 103 temperature are a little high for my liking. Not to mention the fact that that wound still hasn’t healed yet.”

“I always run warm. And it was just a bullet graze, Cait,” Barry tried to reason with her. “Harry said it looked infected. Maybe Cisco and I just did a crappy job cleaning and wrapping it last night.”

“Hey, I thought it looked fine!” Cisco threw his hands up in defense. “I mean not bad for 1 am anyway.”

“It’s 10 am now. Harry’s right, that should have healed within a few hours of you receiving it,” Caitlin said, gently inserting a needle into the crook of Barry’s elbow and drawing blood into the vacutainer. “I want to take a Chem-7 of your metabolic panel and test your levels, as well as the Speed Force in your cells.”

“Do I have to stay here while you do that? I really do feel fine,” Barry gave Caitlin the most innocent look he could. “Ralph and I were gonna try some new training exercises in the speed lab. ”

Caitlin looked to Iris for support before even daring to look at Barry.

“You’re the doctor,” Iris shrugged. 

“Fine, you don't have to stay in the medbay but you do have to take it easy,” Caitlin acquiesced, disconnecting Barry from the IV line and fingertip oximeter.“103 is high for anyone, even you. I want you supervised and you can go only as far as Cisco’s lab.”

“But-“ Barry started to protest.

“Barry, you go with Cisco, take it easy,” Iris squeezed his hand. “Ralph will keep an eye on the monitors in the Cortex.”

“I’ll keep a close eye on him,” Cisco winked at Barry as his friend came to follow him out the medbay.

“That hardly’s supervision,” Harry scoffed quietly from where he was analyzing the swab from the far end of the lab, earning a glare from both Barry and Cisco from the doorway.

“He ain’t wrong,” Joe laughed, coming to stand behind both young men, clapping them on the back. “I’ll watch ‘em, Caitlin.”

“Perfect,” Caitlin nodded her thanks as they left, a thought striking her suddenly before she called out to them. “And no speed!”

Iris smiled slightly before coming to sit at the stool at Caitlin’s desk.

“So what do you think’s going on with him,” Iris asked as Caitlin began to prep the blood sample for analyzing.

“Not sure. I want to test his blood sugar levels, blood acid-base balance, electrolytes and kidney function, as well as the Speed Force, see what’s going on inside of him,” Caitlin responded, looking up at Iris. “As much experience as we have with Barry medically, metahuman powers and what’s going on inside a meta’s body are still relatively a mystery. We’ve only been studying it for three years and most of that time has been spent with the distraction of the Scarlet Speedster and his foes.”

“He is a distraction, isn't he?” Iris propped her elbow on the desk, resting her chin in her palm. 

“He really is,” Caitlin smiled. “Sometimes I think he’d run himself rampant if we let him, especially since coming back from the Speed Force. It’s like he’s got more energy now than ever, no pun intended. Lucky he’s got you to keep him grounded.”

“He was like that when we were kids too, always talking a mile a minute. I’ve been trying to get him to slow down since we were eight, just stop and take a breath. But now, I mean, it’s definitely a team effort. You and Cisco were doing a great job of it while I was still in the dark about him being the Flash.”

“Well, your dad was a huge help with that,” Caitlin smiled, comfortable with the chatting while she waited for the results. She genuinely enjoyed having Iris at S.T.A.R. Labs. Not just because it was nice to have more female energy around but they’d become good friends over the last few months and she definitely added an authentic human element to a team of superpowers and overly analytical scientific brains, often pointing out the obvious answer while the scientists were overthinking. 

“Dad has a lot of practice keeping Barry Allen out of trouble, pulling him out of the fire, long before he became the Flash,” Iris chuckled.

“I can’t really picture Barry being a troublemaker,” Caitlin responded.

“No, but trouble always had a way of finding him. If it wasn’t trouble, it was his strength and heart being tested. The stories I could tell you, you’d think Barry had a magnet that attracted it to him.” 

“Yeah, I’ve thought that a lot these past few years,” Caitlin nodded. “No matter how many times I patch him up, no matter how many lives he saves, the universe keeps throwing more punches at him. Doesn’t slow him down though.”

“My dad used to say that ‘Barry Allen was the definition of defiance’. No matter what happened to him, what he’d witness or experience, he always saw the light with his heart even when his eyes saw darkness. That the more the world tried to dim his light, the more he shined,” Iris smiled fondly. “The harder he got knocked down, the firmer he’d stand his ground. Unfortunately, that also meant the more dad said ‘no’, the more Barry tried to do it anyway.”

“Some things don’t change I guess,” Caitlin shook her head as she and Iris shared a laugh between them. 

“Well, that’s not normal,” Harry said quietly to himself, looking into the microscope, drawing Caitlin and Iris’ attention. Before Caitlin could ask him to explain, they were interrupted by Cisco shouting from down the hall.

“Caitlin! Caitlin!”

Caitlin and Iris both stood up abruptly from their chairs and watched as both Ralph and Harry ran towards the hall. They had clearly got enough of a view of the cause of Cisco’s shout for help because both men immediately beelined towards the medical supply room and grabbed the stretcher.

Seconds later Iris and Caitlin watched as Cisco came into view of the cortex, walking quickly backward, followed by Joe as they carried Barry limp between the two of them.


	2. Chapter 2

'Your face, I see it in my slumber shapes  
Don't change, just keep me in a locked embrace  
I'm safe'

____________________________________________________________________________

 

“Sometimes they get away, Barr,” Joe said, leaning against the table on one end of the lab, tossing a round piece of tech underhanded to Barry who sat on a workbench on the opposite end of the room. “The important thing you got everyone out safely.”

“I know,” Barry sighed, catching the device in both hands, rotating it a couple times before tossing it back to Joe with his uninjured arm. “But what were they even after?”

“Not sure. I called Singh on my way in and he said it didn’t look like they took anything,” Joe responded, catching the metal orb. He tossed it a few times up and into the air, catching it as he spoke. “But that was the third break-in at Stagg in six months. First time taking hostages though.”

“Okay guys, first, this is delicate equipment, not a softball,” Cisco said, grabbing the orb from Joe’s hands before pointing accusingly at a laughing Barry. “As a scientist, you should know better. Second, apparently after the death of Danton Black and Simon Stagg, they've dedicated a portion of their research facility to analyzing Meta-Human biology and are allegedly getting some serious government funding. They’re like the leading experts now.”

“You mean leading expert second to S.T.A.R. Labs,” Barry scoffed, hopping off the workbench and peeling off his zip-up hoodie.

“Well they kinda get top billing since our work is kinda secret here and we spend more time trying to stop metahumans than we do studying them,” Cisco shrugged, tossing the orb overhand like a basketball into a nearby bin, arms raised in victory as it surprisingly went in.

“Delicate, huh?” Joe smirked at Cisco before looking to Barry. The smile dropped, however, moving away from the table as he saw his son first take off his sweatshirt, then pull at the collar of his t-shirt as if it was too tight. “Barr, you okay?”

“Yeah, I just got really warm all of a sudden,” Barry raised a hand to his head, pushing back his hair and looking up as Joe and Cisco neared him. “I think I…better go to the med..bay…and…and…”

Barry’s knees buckled suddenly, eyes rolling back into his head. Joe and Cisco both lunged to catch him before he could hit the floor, each quick to grab one of his arms and support his weight between them. Joe moved behind Barry, sliding his arms under Barry’s while Cisco gently helped him from falling forward as they eased him to the floor.

“Barry!” Joe cried out as he knelt on the ground behind Barry. He could feel the heat radiating from the speedster through the t-shirt as he propped Barry back against his chest. “Cisco, he’s burning up.” Cisco kneeled in front of them, taking Barry’s face in his hands. 

“Barry, talk to me,” Cisco said, patting his cheeks. Barry just groaned, eyes half open as his head lolled side to side against Joe’s shoulder. Cisco called out to him again but all they received in response was a ghost of a whisper from the near-unconscious man that sounded a lot like the word ‘help’.

____________________________________________________________________________

“Guys, the stretcher!” Joe called out as they came into view carrying the limp speedster between them. Cisco’s hands were grasping Barry by the calves while Joe’s arms were under Barry’s and wrapped around his midsection, Barry’s head lolling back against Joe’s shoulder, eyes barely open.

“What happened?” Caitlin called out, running over to them as Harry and Ralph helped in hoisting Barry up onto the cot.

“We were down in Cisco’s lab when all of a sudden he said he felt too warm and then collapsed,” Joe responded as Harry and Caitlin lifted the guardrails on each side of the bed as Joe, Cisco and Ralph steered the stretcher into the medbay.

“Cisco, get a reading on his blood pressure,” Caitlin ordered as she placed a thermometer into Barry’s ear, proud when she saw that Cisco had already started, them having become a well-oiled machine at this part over the last four years. “Temp is 105.7. Harry, are you comfortable hooking him up to an IV?”

“On it,” Wells said, running for the IV stand. 

“Barry? Can you hear me, Barry?” Caitlin immediately placed an oxygen mask over Barry’s face, his eyes looked like they were struggling to stay open. Barry was not responding to her questions and didn't even seem to be registering what was happening around him.

“He normally runs high though, right?” Ralph asked.

“Normal body temperature for an adult is 98.6, Barry runs about 100 normally,” Iris supplied. She had taken upon herself to know Barry’s vitals when she took on the role of team leader and had been shadowing Caitlin since she returned to the team. Barry was always putting himself on the line, she thought Caitlin could use backup for these type of situations. 

“Anything above a 104 is a dangerous fever for a human without super speed. He came in today at a 103 which is not life-threatening for a speedster but it’s not ideal. But he was steady,” Wells answered as set up the IV into the crook of Barry’s arm.

“Barry? Barry, can you hear me?” Caitlin called out again but once again received no response from her patient as she and Iris maneuvered him out of his t-shirt, motioning to Joe to remove Barry’s sneakers and sweatpants, leaving Barry in just his boxers. “Cisco, what’s his pressure?”

“BP 310 over 220,” Cisco moved out of the way as Caitlin grabbed a penlight and started to peer in Barry’s lids. Barry’s normal blood pressure when he was running was 290 over 170. Right now he was at the speedster equivalent of hypertension.

“Iris, can you check his temperature again?” Caitlin said as she connected electrodes to Barry’s chest to monitor his heart, motioning to Wells to connect the EKG.

“It's 106.2 now. 106.8! Caitlin, it’s rising!”

“Okay, we need to get him on ice, now! Cisco, Ralph!” Caitlin barked as she ran to the freezer at the far end of the med lab.

“Couldn’t you use your powers?” Ralph asked as he and Cisco followed to help.

“To lower his temperature externally he needs ice packs where large blood vessels lie close to the skin,” Caitlin said as she distributed two ice packs to each of them, grabbing two for herself. “I think this will be more effective and I’d rather rely on my medical abilities than my meta ones.”

While they got the ice, Joe moved to the sink, grabbing a small towel and soaking it with cool water before returning to Barry’s side.

“Barry,” Joe called out gently but firmly, laying the folded damp towel across Barry’s forehead whose brow furrowed at the sensation, eyes closing. “I need you to look at me, son.”

All Barry could hear was chaos and confusion. He tried to open his eyes but after several attempts, he realized it was useless. He was only dimly aware of the mask on his face forcing air into his lungs, glad that it was there, without it he didn't think he could even breathe.

Caitlin, Ralph, and Cisco returned with the ice packs. Cisco placed two on the inside of Barry’s thighs while Ralph wedged one under each of Barry’s armpits. 

“Barry, I need you to stay awake!” Caitlin called out as she packed one on each side of Barry’s neck. “Harry lets get another IV moving. We have to get his temperature down. Iris, can you try keeping him awake?”

“Barry, it’s Iris. Can you hear me, hon?” Iris spoke as she came to stand by the head of the bed. Barry felt cool hands slide on either side of his face, cradling his flushed cheeks gently, recognizing the feel of Iris’ hands. To Barry, Iris’ voice was muffled and sounded far away but it pierced through the fog surrounding his awareness, thinking to himself that she sounded frightened. “Look at me, babe. Stay with me.”

Wanting to make sure Iris was okay, Barry gathered enough strength to peel his eyelids open. As Iris saw his eyelids flutter, momentary relief washed over as she smiled down at him, face just inches above his. He said nothing but his eyes were beginning to focus for the first time since they’d brought him in, the oxygen mask fogging as he panted for air. 

“Hey,” she smiled as he blinked up at her. The heat radiating from his body was terrifying and she spared a glance up to her father who was standing behind the head of the bed, still holding the wet towel to Barry’s forehead. His concern mirrored her own as they both looked back down to Barry, who was still trying to focus on Iris. 

“We have to try to get your fever down but you need to stay awake for me, okay? Just keep breathing,” Iris’ voice was soothing as her hand moved to gently stroke the side of Barry’s face with the back of her fingers. Barry just blinked up at her through half-lidded eyes. 

“Caitlin, what's wrong with him?” Cisco asked the doctor, coming to stand behind where she was studying the computer screen.

“The metabolic panel test came back normal. Kidney function, blood acid-base balance, glucose and electrolyte levels all within the normal range for Barry,” Caitlin responded, pulling up the results of the blood test, examining them closely as she spoke.

“So then what?” Joe responded as he moved to the sink to ring out the warmed towel and re-soak it with cool water.

“A fever is not an illness in its self. It’s a physiological response to something else,” Caitlin punched a few keys on the computer. “The Speed Force levels in his cells have dropped precipitously. I’m only showing 86% in his system.”

“Snow, his temperature is coming down,” Wells called out. “105.”

“Okay, let's remove the ice packs before he starts to shiver,” Caitlin crossed the room, removing the ice packs at his groin while Ralph pulled away the ones under his arms and Iris took away the ones from his neck. Cisco replaced the now depleted IV as Joe came over to lay the damp towel across Barry’s brow once more. 

“His heart rate is still high but it’s slowed down a bit,” Iris announced, watching her father move to the right of the cot, leaning over Barry. She had wanted to rush to his side but was glad to let her father take care of Barry. She may be his wife but Joe had a lot of practice being his dad.

“Hey, Barr, can you hear me, son?” Joe whispered, gently dabbing the cool, damp cloth against the heated skin of Barry’s forehead. Barry moaned softly, eyes looking up at Joe as he spoke.

“Joe,” Barry’s voice was barely above a whisper beneath the oxygen mask. 

“That a boy,” Joe smiled at him. “Stay with me, okay Barr?”

Barry slowly nodded up at Joe as his father pressed the cool cloth up to his hairline, sighing in the relief of the sensation it provided. From the corner of his eye, Joe saw Barry sluggishly stretch the fingers of his hand, the one closest to Joe. Without hesitation, knowing, Joe grabbed Barry’s clammy, shaking hand in his own, squeezing it tightly. 

“Caitlin,” Joe called out, the young woman rushing to the other side of Barry’s bed. “He’s responsive.”

“Barry, I’m going to replace the mask with a nasal cannula, okay?” Caitlin asked, flashing the penlight into Barry’s eyes again and satisfied with their responses as Barry nodded. Caitlin prepped the oxygen tubing and then lifted the mask from over his mouth and nose. She watched him breathe for a few moments, satisfied with the steady if not slightly shallow breaths, and then placed the cannula in his nose, tucking it over and behind his ears.

“Thank you,” Barry’s voice was a whisper, eyes slowly blinking up at her.

“How are you feeling?” she asked. 

“Not great, actually,” Barry spoke, quiet and slow. “Something’s wrong.”

“I know,” she gave his bare shoulder a reassuring squeeze, “but we’re going to figure this out.” He nodded at her before looking back up at Joe who began talking soothing and comforting words to his son.

“Caitlin,” Cisco called her over where he was huddled with Ralph, Wells, and Iris. 

“Before Cisco and Joe brought Barry in, I was analyzing the sample from the swab I took from the inside of Barry’s wound. There was a foreign component in the blood. A cytotoxin,” Harry spoke in hushed tones as Caitlin joined them. 

“A what?” Ralph asked.

“A cytotoxin. It's a toxic compound that can impact the cells in a number of ways when exposed, including causing the cells to die off,” Caitlin explained. “But how did it get in his system?”

“I recognized some of the chemical compounds from my own speed dampening serum, albeit less refined,” Wells continued. “Theoretically, whatever was on or in that bullet could be used to poison his mutated cells when it came in contact with his blood.”

“But Barry’s blood causes his cells to regenerate,” Cisco brought up. “Shouldn’t this not affect him?”

“Yeah, but Barry isn’t immune to illness or poisons, right?” Iris countered. “His body just works through them quicker.”

“Which could be the reaction we’re seeing right now. Remember, a fever is just a response. Whatever this is, because his body is working so hard to fight off the toxin, his metabolic rate is being increased and causing his life-threatening hyperthermia,” Caitlin was about to say more but Joe calling out to her interrupted them.

“Caitlin,” Joe’s voice was shrouded in concern as Barry’s brow furrowed. Joe could feel the tremor in Barry’s hand begin and slowly sweep through his body. 

Suddenly the alarms from the heart monitor began to beep loudly as Barry’s pulse skyrocketed. Barry’s head pushed back against the pillow as his back arched up against the cot. His body began to convulse, legs kicking out, muscles locking as he seized. Harry, Ralph, and Cisco rushed to help Joe hold Barry down while Iris moved to the head of the bed. 

“Barry!” Iris shouted as Barry grunted, head thrashing from side to side, limbs twitching at unnatural angles. “Caitlin, what do we do?”  
Caitlin hesitated for a minute before turning on her heel to run through the cortex to the med supply room. She shuffled through the stacked drawers on the shelves, rummaging until she found the vial she was looking for. Grabbing a hypodermic needle she withdrew some of its content and moved back to the med bay towards where Barry was seizing on the bed. She sterilized the flesh on Barry’s collarbone and inserted the needle into the deltoid muscle in his shoulder. After a minute, Barry stilled and the heart monitor quieted, showing a steady heartbeat.

“Is that…” Cisco started to ask, panting from the exertion of holding Barry down.

“Yes.” Caitlin looked up at her friend. “That shouldn’t have worked.”

“Caitlin?” Iris asked, combing fingers through the now unconscious man’s hair. 

“This is the blend of medicines Dr. Wells, or rather Thawne, and I created for Barry when he was in the coma. After he was struck by lightning and was hit with the dark matter from the particle accelerator, Barry suffered from seizures. Medically, we know seizures are a sudden change in the brain’s normal electrical activity, and in Barry’s case from the Speed Force bonding to his cells,” Caitlin explained, hands shaking slightly as she held the empty needle in her hands, looking up at the confused faces. “After a month of tests and trials, Thawne and I came up with this blend of sedatives, anticonvulsants, and beta blockers to treat his seizures as well as treat his tachycardia and block the impulses that were causing his increased and irregular heart rhythm that made it look like he was flatlining.”

“But Barry’s metabolism burns right through medications,” Harry countered.

“It does,” Caitlin nodded. “That’s why that shouldn't have worked.”

“Then why try it?” Cisco questioned. “Cait, we stopped using that five months into his coma when the seizures stopped.”

“Because that episode was just like when Joe and Iris first brought him to S.T.A.R. Labs. We didn’t know at the time that the seizures were his body responding and adjusting to the Speed Force. Five months in, we didn't need to use this anymore. The seizures stopped, the tachycardia stopped, we took him off the ventilator, his muscles went from atrophy to a chronic state of cellular regeneration, and we started having to change the IV bag more frequently to keep up with his metabolic needs. His body had begun assimilating to the Speed Force.”

“And then four months later he woke up,” Iris added before a thought struck her. “You said it shouldn’t have worked. If he’s responding to medication, what does that mean? His powers are gone?”

“They’re still here,” a soft voice from the bed stole their attention, causing all of them to look to Barry. Joe moved to adjust the bed to elevate Barry slightly when he saw the young man start to squirm.

“You okay, Barr?” Joe asked, holding Barry’s hand between both of his. Barry smiled up at him slightly, nodding and squeezing Joe’s hand reassuringly.

“I can still feel my powers,” Barry looked to his team surrounding him as they came to gather around the bed.

“So this cytotoxin. Is it like Harry’s speed dampening darts?” Cisco asked. “Just some time and it’ll wear off and he’ll be fine?”

“I don’t think so,” Wells shook his head, grabbing his tablet to show the findings to the team. “Looking at his cells, they’re still charged. He’s still showing traces of the Speed Force but his cells are losing integrity and the Speed Force is dying off rapidly.”

“It's not that they’re dormant like with dampeners. I think the cytotoxin is causing Barry’s cells to undergo necrosis,” Caitlin added. Looking at some of the blank stares she was receiving she elaborated. “The cells will stop actively growing and dividing, stop recharging and regenerating unless we can find a way to stop it.” 

“Or what? He loses his powers for good?” Iris asked, her hand moving to Barry’s shoulder, gently rubbing the muscle beneath her hand.

Caitlin exchanged a look with Wells before glancing at Barry who leaned his head back, closing his eyes. Between their knowledge of medicine and science, the three of them shared a mutual understanding of the weight of Caitlin’s diagnosis.

“It means the cells won’t regenerate, which means Barry can’t heal and fight this off,” Caitlin responded hesitantly.

“Which means-“ Cisco said as the realization hit, eyes meeting Barry’s as his friend looked to him as he finished Cisco’s sentence. 

“Which means this will kill me.”


	3. Chapter 3

'Keep my head upright, hold my thoughts in line, hunt what you can't find  
Slow my heartbeat down, get my insides out, find my insides'

____________________________________________________________________________

It was late in the afternoon when Joe climbed the stairs leading up to the porch of the West home. He was exhausted, the last two days spending all his efforts focused on trying to solve the Stagg Industries break-in, desperate to find a lead that could bring some hope to finding a cure for Barry.

The witnesses hadn’t been able to ID their captors, Barry confirming they were all wearing plain clothes and masks, no distinguishable characteristics, and the scientists had yet to find anything missing from their laboratory. The day after the seizure, Barry was able to return to the scene with the CCPD and had found the bullet fragment that had grazed the Flash embedded into a wall. He had brought it back to S.T.A.R. Labs to analyze, commenting on how weird it was to be investigating himself. He didn’t get very far in the process before needing to rest. Cisco was going over all the information he could on the Stagg meta-human department research and Caitlin was obsessively analyzing the sample from Barry’s injury. She said it wasn’t enough to try to reverse engineer a cure but was trying to come up with some sort of solution. So far she’d only been able to treat his symptoms.

Barry didn’t have much appetite, his movements slow, needing to nap periodically throughout the day. To someone not in the know, it appeared just like any normal virus, not a poison slowly destroying the cells that allowed him to heal himself, to do impossible tasks. Barry’s fever continued to spike occasionally anytime his body attempted to fight off the virus that was destroying his cells. He had been warned by Caitlin to not use his speed at all, that accessing his powers would, in turn, increase the occurrence of seizures, the fever, and she suspected then increasing the level of cellular necrosis. But Barry’s body intuitively kept attempting to heal itself, every time it did it sapped a little more of the Speed Force from his system and weakened the young man further.

As Joe entered the home, he saw Barry’s sneakers and Iris’ heels laying in a pile by the door. Joe sighed in relief, glad that his kids were home. Cecile came around the corner from the kitchen, a dishrag thrown over her shoulder, greeting him with a melancholy smile. He leaned in for a kiss, hands coming to rest upon her hips. She reciprocated the embrace cautiously, only the bottom of her palms making contact with his shoulders as she kept her flour-covered hands from dirtying his suit. She’d been baking. Cecile was a relatively health conscious person, baking only when stressed. As the pulled away from the embrace, he could see the concern in her eyes. 

Barry, Iris, and Wally were not her children, but she’d embraced them and their strange little family dynamic without judgment and with all the love and acceptance Joe could ever hope for in a partner. His love and concern for his children’s safety became hers and Joe could see it in her eyes now as she motioned with her head upstairs. She’d taken a few personal days to keep an eye out and to be a helping hand while Joe worked the case and tried to find a way to help his son.

The second seizure happened shortly after Barry began analyzing the bullet at S.T.A.R. Labs. After 24 hours under observation, Caitlin only let Barry leave S.T.A.R. Labs on the promise he would rest and return immediately if his condition worsened at all. Caitlin had given them a handful of auto-injectors with the serum used to stop the seizures, two of which had happened since Barry’s release. Joe and Team Flash had been able to convince him to take time from CCPD, using his sick time and claiming the flu, as well as time from being the Flash, Ralph, and Vibe keeping the city safe while Caitlin and Harry worked to figure out the cytotoxin and create a cure. Convincing Iris and Barry to stay with him at the West home had been significantly easier. Between Joe, Iris, and Cecile, Barry always had someone there if he needed, not that Barry wanted that at all. The kid was too independent and didn’t like feeling incapable. But when the fever did start to rise, having them there to help bring his temperature down or help him when he felt too tired to move, Barry was grateful. He hated being a burden but was thankful for the family that never made him feel like he was one. 

With a kiss on the cheek to Cecile, Joe made his way up the stairs slowly, his own exhaustion and worry making him feel older than he usually felt. The first door on the right was Barry’s old room where Iris and Barry had been taking up residence for the last two days. His hand slowly twisted the knob while the other gripped the inner edge of the door as he slowly eased it open. Evening sunrise from the window in the hall cast orange light through the room as Joe peeked his head in, relief instantly washing over him.

The curtains were drawn and the light was dim in the room. Iris was sitting up in the bed, pillows propped behind her as she leaned back against the headboard with her legs outstretched. Barry was lying to the left of her, curled up on his side, head in her lap with his arm draped over her thighs, face smooth in peaceful sleep. Iris had her right arm resting around Barry’s shoulders pressed up against her body while her left hand gently combed through his hair. 

“Hi Daddy,” she greeted quietly, smiling up at her father as he entered the room, slowly approaching the bed. 

“Hey baby,” he smiled, giving her a quick kiss on the forehead before leaning over his daughter to press a hand softly to Barry’s forehead. He was warm but not enough to cause concern, a fine sheen of sweat across his brow. Joe found himself sighing again in relief. 

“104.2,” Iris answered the unasked question, motioning with her head to the thermometer that rest upon the nightstand. “I checked it about a half hour ago.”

“You comfortable?” Joe asked as he smoothed the thin sheet draped over Barry’s waist. 

“A little warmer than I’d like. He’s like a heating pad but I don’t have the heart to move him,” Iris smiled slightly. Joe nodded, looking over his shoulder and seeing that the armchair was pulled up beside the bed, Iris’ laptop sitting abandoned on the cushion. Joe moved it to the floor and plopped himself down into the chair. A soft strained moan and a furrow of his brow disrupted Barry’s peace before he settled once more, cheek nuzzling against Iris’ legging-covered thigh.

“He’s in pain too, isn’t he?” Joe sighed. Iris looked up at her father and nodded.

“There have been a few times I’ve caught him trying to hide it, trying to quiet a moan or not show a muscle spasm,” Iris said softly as she pressed the back of her hand against his forehead, checking to make sure his temperature was still within reasonable limits.

“But of course he hasn’t said anything,” Joe sighed, shaking his head. “Why does he do this to himself?”

“You know Barry. He doesn’t want to worry us, doesn’t want to be a burden. I thought I’d keep him company, try to get some work done while he napped but he kept tossing and turning,” Iris explained quietly, her eyes focused on the gentle rise and fall of Barry’s body as he slept, her fingers slowly massaging his scalp as she ran them through his hair. “After about an hour I eventually climbed onto the bed and pulled him over to me. He settled almost instantly and he’s been asleep since.”

Joe took in the sight before him, imagining Barry instantly melting into a peaceful slumber in the arms of Iris. Even as kids she’d always had a calming effect on him. From nightmares to stressing about college, Iris always had a way of settling Barry’s racing heart. Seeing his daughter comforting the sleeping man Joe viewed as a son, seeing the intimacy of two people who loved each other so deeply and always had, Joe smiled to himself at how he’d reacted to seeing their affection when they first started dating. Nothing had changed in their behavior except now they were expressing their love in the way Joe always knew would eventually come. He almost felt silly now thinking about how squeamish both he and Barry had been about showing that affection in front of him. But the awkwardness was short lived and soon seeing it warmed Joe’s heart because he knew Barry and Iris were truly happy with each other.

“Dad?” Iris questioned softly, interrupting her father’s internal musing. He spared a glance at his daughter, smiling at her now instead of just to himself.

“Sorry, baby. I was just thinking.”

“About what?”

“Do you remember when you guys were sixteen and Barry’s girlfriend had broken up with him. What was her name?” Joe asked, Iris giving him a weird look before she responded.

“Becky Cooper,” the disdain that dripped from Iris’ voice was a shared feeling for Joe. 

“He was so broken after. It was the first time he’d let his guard down with someone other than us, which was hard for him to do after he lost his parents. She ended up using him to get back at her ex-boyfriend, twisting his insecurities, manipulated him into his first time, only to leave him the day after and telling him he was too broken for anyone to really love him.” Joe had to swallow down the anger.

“I remember. It was the first time I’d ever felt the desire to break someone’s face,” Iris sneered at the memory, fleeting quickly when she felt Barry’s arm wrap around her hips tighter, sighing as he burrowed closer against her as if even in his sleep he sensed she needed the calming effect he had always provided to her. 

“I remember coming home that night and finding you in his room, like this, propped up against the headboard and him with his head in your lap. When you guys were thirteen or fourteen I’d been terrified to find you in that position, two teenagers who weren’t actually siblings, experimenting. But all I saw was love, all I saw was your fierce need to protect him and his reliance on your presence and I knew I didn’t have to worry.”

As her father spoke, Iris looked down at Barry’s face where his head rested on her thigh, continuing to gently smooth his hair back, loving how soft the unkempt brown locks were, a floppy mess as Barry hadn’t put the pomade in the last few days. His cheeks were flushed and warm but it was the most rested she’d seen him in days. She just wished it didn’t take something trying to kill him to get Barry to slow down. 

In a sound that seemed so loud in the quiet evening of the room, Joe’s phone went off from his pocket.

“Dad!” Iris hissed.

“Shit!” he cursed, quick to grab it before it could disturb Barry but Iris felt Barry shift, rubbing his cheek against her leg before beginning to stretch his body as he was roused from his slumber. 

“Damnit,” Joe cursed again, before answering the phone, excusing himself from the room as he went to the hall to talk. Iris sighed and looked down at where Barry was gazing up at her through half-lidded eyes.

“Hey,” he whispered, both a furrowed brow and sleepy smile on his face as he tried to blink out the tired haze from waking up. 

“Hey babe,” she smiled down at him, combing his hair back from his eyes with her fingers. “How ya feeling?”

“Not too bad,” Barry yawned, reluctantly uncurling himself around Iris as he pushed himself up into a seated position next to her. “How long was I out?” he asked as he tried to stifle another yawn.

“Not long enough I think,” Iris teased as Barry moved till he was half sitting, half lying in the bed. He wrapped his left arm around Iris’ shoulders and pulled her close to him against his chest, Iris resting her forehead against Barry’s neck.

She pressed her hand against Barry’s chest, just above his heart, the rhythm of his heartbeat was calming, steady, consistent, and grounding. She used to press her hand over his heart countless times when Barry was in the coma at S.T.A.R. Labs. After watching him flatline so many times, even after they assured her he was stable, she couldn’t help but need the reassurance. When Barry had first woken up and surprised her at Jitters, he had taken her hand and placed it over his heart, almost as if he knew. 

“I’m sorry, Iris,” Barry whispered, his thumb softly stroking her arm draped across his waist.

“For what?” Iris asked, lifting off him slightly so she could look up at him.

“For getting myself into trouble. Again,” Barry sighed, looking down at her with guilt filled eyes. “It’s been a whirlwind since I got back from the Speedforce. After everything me being gone put you and everyone through I-“

His words were interrupted when Iris grabbed his chin gently and leaned up to press her lips against his, capturing his mouth with a long, deep kiss. Their lips parted and she pulled away just enough, pushing her forehead against his.

“Stop, Barry,” She whispered. He was the only person she knew who would feel guilty about suffering. His lips were dry, could feel the heat from the skin of his forehead as it pressed against hers, and hair damp with sweat but it didn’t phase her. She would stay as close to him as possible for as long as she could.

Before she could say anything else, before she could ask him how much pain he was in, Joe re-entered the bedroom, phone in his hand.

“We have to get to S.T.A.R. Labs. They found something.”

____________________________________________________________________________

 

“It was a trap,” Barry repeated Harry’s words, his hands raking through his hair as he hung his head. 

"It looks that way," Cisco nodded, looking around the Cortex at the gathered group, his attention shifting between Barry seated in a chair in the center of the room and Caitlin who was checking Barry's vitals. "The bullet was hollowed with a capsule containing the cytotoxin Harry found in your wound. We think whoever has been breaking into Stagg Industries has been stealing research on metahumans and staged this escalated hostage situation to lure you there with an attempt to test out their weapon."

"So you think this scio-toxic-" Joe started.

"Cytotoxin," Wells corrected. 

"Right, that," Joe pointed at him before folding his arms over his chest. "You think they set this up to kill Barry."

"I don't necessarily think that was its purpose," Caitlin chimed in, stepping over to the workstation to analyze Barry's blood sample. “I think it was designed to neutralize his powers, not kill him.” 

"We believe this was meant as an experiment to test their meta-gene suppressing drug and the Flash is an easy target to obtain due to his heroics," Harry agreed.

"Why would they do that? Who would do that?" Iris questioned, staring at the monitor that showed Barry's vitals. His temperature was still higher than it should be, heart rate and blood pressure all higher than normal. He was only getting worse and Iris was getting scared.

“It’s gotta be a short list,” Cisco moved to the computer console, typing away frantically. “Luckily Ralph knows a lot of undesirables and is out there hitting up every snitch and contact he can to see if anybody has heard or seen something. But whoever it is has to have the resources, funding, knowledge, and motive. Someone who deems metas enough of a threat to create something to neutralize a meta's powers."

"But it's not doing that. I mean yes it's weakening his powers but-“ Iris' voice trailed off, afraid to finish the thought they all had that this may actually be killing Barry. "What do they have to gain from that?"

"Trial and error. Any experiment you have to test it to see if it works. I'm the test subject and it's a failed experiment," Barry answered, head bowed, rubbing at his neck.

"Your Speed Force levels are at 72%," Caitlin lifted her head from the computer console. “It’s succeeding in neutralizing your powers but I think the destruction of your cells is an unforeseen side effect. Barry, your blood work is showing results like the first tests we took when you came here after the lightning bolt struck you.”

“What does that mean?” Cisco asked, stretching his hands behind his head, frustrated and fearful. 

“While he was in the coma after being struck by lightening his DNA was essentially transforming his body to assimilate to the Speed Force and it nearly killed him,” Harry provided, having studied Caitlin’s files when he joined Team Flash so he could compare the results this Earth’s failed particle accelerator and the one he had been responsible on Earth-2. “Now that it's being ravaged by this toxin, his body is regressing to that state of instability, manifesting in symptoms similar to when he was comatose. ” 

As they continued to speculate, Joe moved over to where Barry was sitting silently, still rubbing at his neck. Joe moved in front of the chair, kneeling down in front of where Barry sat. He placed his hand at Barry's chin and lifted his head to look at him. “Barry, I need you to be honest with me. How bad are you actually feeling?"

Barry looked at his adoptive father through hooded eyes, Joe seeing how hard Barry was trying to hide the pain and tiredness. But he couldn't bring himself to answer.

"Barr," Joe encouraged, receiving a sigh as in response before Barry finally shared.

"You remember when Zoom took my speed?" Barry asked quietly, feeling a slight twinge of guilt as he saw Harry tense at the mention of his past indiscretions. "It's kinda like that, but painful, like static electricity all over. Like I can feel it sparking out as it goes away."

"Oh Barr," Joe sighed. Leave it to Barry Allen to suffer silently, once again keeping from them his pain as not to burden them. 

“Joe, I’m sor-“

“Hey,” Joe interrupted, moving his hand to cup Barry’s cheek. “Don’t apologize. And don't keep your pain from us. We’re here for you, okay?”

Barry nodded, a small smile easing the tension in his face. Joe smiled back, his thumb rubbing gently along Barry’s cheek as he stood.

“I’m gonna cross-reference all medical and science grants for research into meta’s, see if I can hack into Stagg’s files and hopefully find a trace or paper trail,” Cisco announced to no one in particular, not tearing his gaze from the screen. 

“You think whoever…is behind…” Barry’s voice trailed off, swaying as he stood from the chair.

“Barry?” Joe said, moving an arm around Barry’s shoulder, noticing how warm the speedster felt now from just a few moments ago. 

“It’s coming,” Barry panted. Joe quickly led Barry to the med bay, reminding him to just breathe. Barry could warn them now when the seizure was coming, his body temperature always spiking right before. 

“Keep working,” Caitlin pointed at Cisco and Harry as she and Iris followed Joe and Barry, rounding the corner just in time to see them barely get Barry onto the bed before the seizure gripped him.

Cisco resisted the urge to follow, hearing Caitlin calling out instructions to Joe and Iris, hearing the painful grunts of Barry as his body betrayed him, trying to focus on the task at hand while his friend was suffering in the room adjacent to them.

“We’ll figure it out, Ramon,” Wells said, a supporting hand upon Cisco’s shoulder, a rare showing of the normally uncharacteristically kind behavior Harry would occasionally allow to make an appearance. 

“I’m glad you’re here to help with this, Harry.”

They shared a tense smile between them as Cisco returned to trying to track down anyone who could potentially be hurting his friend. Thirty minutes went by before Caitlin and Joe emerged from the medbay. When they entered the cortex, Harry and Cisco both turned to see both of them looking completely drained.

“It’s taking him longer to recover,” Caitlin sighed, reaching for a now cold mug of coffee and wishing she had something stronger. “I had to increase the dosage of the medication but after we were able to stop the seizure, his fever and heart rate skyrocketed.”

“And now?” Wells asked, handing Caitlin his fresh cup of coffee that he had yet to drink from. She smiled in appreciation and took a long inhale of the coffee, a satisfying sip, and then answered the question.

“We were able to get the fever to break a bit but we had to hook him up with an oxygen mask, an IV and a comparative dose of Ibuprofen.”

“What’s comparative?” Cisco asked, not looking up from the computer screen. 

“Normal dose is 400mg. For it to even work on Barry I had to put him on a dose of about 4000 mg,” Caitlin said, moving to sit at the computer console beside Cisco. “Unfortunately even still with the reduced Speed Force in his cells his metabolism will burn through it pretty quickly but hopefully it’ll help with the hyperpyrexia at least.”

“His breathing and heart rate are down,” Joe sighed, his hand massaging his forehead. “Iris is trying to keep him cool and calm but he’s confused, frantic. This is really wearing him out.”

“Not just him,” Wells added quietly, looking at the exhausted expressions on Joe and Caitlin. He cared for this team but was able to emotionally detach easier. He shared their concern but Wells could resist being as deeply affected they all became when one of them was struggling. Right now with Barry suffering, it appeared to him that the rest of the team was almost feeling the pain themselves as well. He just hoped by being a little more removed emotionally then they all were, maybe he could provide the semi-objective opinion and rational mind. 

“The toxin is feeding off his charged cells. What if we used a power dampener, cut off their food source?” Cisco suggested.

“That’s idiotic,” Wells scoffed. 

“And that’s not helpful,” Cisco scowled before returning to the computer.

“Guys,” Caitlin warned, shaking her head. “What I think Harry meant to say was that if we use a dampener it will cut off his healing capabilities as well. I tested some of the toxin against a sample of my blood and it killed the cells immediately. His powers are slowing down the necrosis. We cut that off, it could kill him within a few hours.” 

“So instead we let it kill him slowly,” Joe said quietly.

“It’s painful for him, I know,” Caitlin sighed. “But it buys us time to come up with an antidote.”

“This doesn’t make any sense,” Cisco huffed, slamming on the keyboard, interrupting their conversation. As he looked up he was met with three very confused faces. “I keep getting interference every time I try to use the satellite. It keeps pinging back like something is interrupting the uplink with a strong signal.”

“You’re saying someones blocking the S.T.A.R. Labs satellite?” Joe folded his arms over his chest.

“I’m sayin’ someone’s receiving signals from S.T.A.R. Labs but it’s not going to our satellite,” Cisco started to explain but was interrupted by a large crash and Iris shouting. They all ran towards the medbay where they saw Barry sitting up in bed with a scalpel in his right hand, shaking. Iris was trying to pull it from him. The bedside medical tray was overturned, the source of the loud sound they heard, Barry still with the oxygen mask over his face, his brow and bare chest covered in sweat, a cut on his left bicep, right below the healing gunshot wound, dripping blood down his arm, and his eyes somewhat glazed over.

“Barry, stop!” Iris yelled, one hand trying to pull the scalpel from Barry’s shaking hand, her other wrapped around his forearm.

“I have to get it out!” Barry shouted back, his voice desperate. They ran to Barry’s bedside, trying to help Iris stop Barry from harming himself.

Joe and Cisco each grabbed one of his arms and got a hold on his upper body while Wells grabbed his legs, holding Barry down to the cot. 

“No! Please, I can feel it!” Barry’s shouted as Joe and Cisco wrestled his arms down to his side, Iris finally able to grab the scalpel from his fist. 

“Barry!” Caitlin hovered over him, strong hands grasping the sides of his neck, willing the frantic man to look at her. “Barry, stop struggling. We’re trying to help you. You’re going to hurt yourself!”

“Dude, calm down!” Cisco shouted over Barry’s shouts as he writhed as best he could against the men restraining him, twisting and pulling but his strength was weakened and not match for the grip they had on him. Caitlin moved away to rush for the tranquilizer solution Harry had developed, taking a small enough dose to act as a sedative to calm down her patient and injected it into his IV line.

“Barry, you need to calm down,” Iris tried not to shout, trying to will the panicked eyes darting all across the room to settle on her, her hands cupping his face. The oxygen mask fogged as Barry panted, brow furrowed, and strength weakening as the sedative started to calm him down.

“Barry, enough!” Joe shouted, his voice echoing in the room as the fatherly tone stopped all the members of Team Flash in their tracks. Barry’s watery gaze finally settled on Joe’s warm brown eyes and suddenly he stopped all his struggling. Joe, Iris, Cisco, and Wells all eased up on their grip on as his scrambling ceased, letting go and standing by in case Barry had another fit. Caitlin moved to the bedside, shining a penlight into Barry’s eyes before moving her hands to examine the fresh cut on his arm.

“Cait,” Barry's voice was desperate, his hand grabbing at her sleeve. “There’s something in my arm. The electricity being generated when I had the seizure, I could feel it stinging.”

“Barry, your fever…” 

“No, Cait,” Barry interrupted, voice pleading. “Please.” 

Cisco wasted no time, grabbing the portable scanner and handing it to Caitlin. At her incredulous look, he just shrugged back. Caitlin feared it was just a fever delusion but they’d encountered some strange things. Cisco who was ever the conspiracy theorist was quick to buy into Barry’s claim. With a sigh, Caitlin ran the portable X-ray over Barry’s arm, up and down and stopped suddenly on her third pass.

“I need forceps and a scalpel.”

____________________________________________________________________________

“This is some nice tech,” Cisco said in wonder as he inspected the microchip implant Caitlin had extracted from Barry’s arm under the microscope. It was no larger than a grain of rice. “I mean to put an RFID transponder in a biocompatible silicate glass enclosure, along with a cytotoxin and introduce into the body via a bullet set to release both at contact, this would be totally dope if it wasn’t so diabolical.”

If Cisco was talking to anyone in particular, he made no effort to let them know. He was currently seated at the workstation in the medbay while the rest of the team was huddled around Barry who was sitting upright in the gurney, his right arm stretched over his torso as his hand gripped the left arm right below where Caitlin was wrapping it. The chip had migrated down his bicep from where it had been implanted by the bullet wound and was buried deep inside his upper arm. Between the bullet wound that still hadn’t healed completely, his own haphazard cut, and Caitlin’s incision, the bandage now covered his entire upper arm from shoulder to above his elbow.

Wells hovered over where Cisco was examining the implant while Joe sat on a stool not far from the bed, trying to keep himself from hovering over Barry, desperate to take care of his son but taking a step back because his father’s worry had to take a back seat to the worry of a partner. Iris sat on the edge of the right side of the bed, her hand rubbing gently up and down Barry’s blanket-covered leg, having held his hand through the whole procedure. Unlike her father, she had no thought to quell the desire to hover, unsure if the need to be Barry’s side was for his sake or her own. 

Barry had been nearly silent the whole procedure, small moans or hiss in pain being the only noise when he really wanted to shout. The only saving grace was that his powers were compromised enough that Caitlin was able to use an anesthetic to numb the pain enough to not make him want to pass out. He was trying to be as strong as possible. He knew they were all worried, felt powerless to help him as he was losing. And he was losing. His healing abilities were focused solely on fighting off the toxin as it ravaged his cells. Any attempt at using his speed only agitated his condition. He was tired all the time, the fever came and went in waves, the seizures taking a lot out of him any time his body went into overdrive trying to stop the deterioration of his condition. He was also hiding how painful it was. His whole body ached and he could feel the energy, not just the Speed Force, leaving his body. But he couldn’t let on to them just how bad it was because he could not be responsible for squashing their hope. 

“What’s the purpose of it?” Joe asked.

“It’s not a tracker. I think its to send information…” Cisco’s voice trailed off as an idea struck him, moving to leave the room. “I’ll be back. I gotta make a call.”

“It makes sense,” Iris thought, trying to piece together the information they did have. “If this whole thing is an experiment, then this implant could be sending the data it's collecting to whoever is responsible for this.”

“Vitals, levels, results,” Wells nodded. “Their way of reporting their findings without having their test subject in front of them.”

“Hey, that ‘test subject’ is my kid,” Joe gave Wells a disapproving glare.

“Joe,” Barry interjected.

“No, Barr. I don’t care what any of this is or why. I want to know how we’re going to fix this and who’s responsible,” Joe’s voice was strained. He was tired of feeling like he had no control over the safety of his family. He had become a cop to serve and protect, had become Barry’s guardian to keep him safe and for him to thrive. The universe kept testing both of those oaths; Barry always found himself in the thick of danger, especially since he became the Flash, and Joe kept finding it more and more difficult to be an upstanding officer of the law when the desire to kill the people that harmed his kid kept coming.  
“I think I’ve found the way we can solve both of those issues,” Cisco said as he rejoined them. “Or at least found the someone who can.”

‘Hey, Team Flash’ the familiar female voice came through the speaker on Cisco’s phone as he set it down next to the keyboard.

“Felicity?” Iris asked.

“Yep,” Cisco responded as he retook his seat at the computer in the medbay. “Felicity was able to interrupt the signal from the RFID, is currently hacking into the remote system, and is gonna feed us the data.”

‘We can find the who, the what, and hopefully the where,’ Felicity chimed in, the distinct sound of rapid keyboard tapping clear in the background.  
Barry quickly got up from the gurney, a steadying arm around his waist from Iris as he swayed slightly, went thankfully unnoticed by anyone else in the room as they all gathered around the workstation.

“You were right,” Caitlin said, looking over the stats on display, the information tracked of his condition since being infected identical to her own notes she was keeping. Heart rate, temperature, all the vitals showcasing how Barry’s body was responding to the toxin. 

‘This is information is from the source itself’ Felicity said as Cisco’s computer screen soon came to life, metahuman case files from Stagg Industries and research notes flooding the screen. Suddenly a dossier of Barry appeared.

“They know you’re the Flash,” Iris said with a gasp, horrified at the detail in the document, medical records, personal history, and exploits as the Flash all on display. She moved her gaze to the man next to her, seeing him close his eyes and sigh at the weight of what they were seeing.

“Felicity, can you find out where the signals are being sent to?” Cisco asked as he skimmed the research notes. She didn’t respond but the sound of her keyboard continued in its ferocity until suddenly it came to a stop.

‘An army satellite base located in Star City under the command of a General Wade-‘

"Eiling," Joe growled, not needing Felicity to finish the sentence.

“Of course it’s Eiling,” Cisco snapped his fingers. 

"He's got the resources and it's not like this would be the first time,” Caitlin added. “Think about Bette, think about Ronnie and Professor Stein. He hates metas and we haven't heard much from him since the whole Grodd incident. Maybe he's been silent because they've been working on a meta reversal toxin. Something to neutralize a meta's powers.”

‘The base has been out of operation for years and only in the last two years has been reactivated. It’s been labeled as a database entry facility for a few classified projects for the government and military. But most of the information is sealed, which is a sure indication of shady business.”  
“So we go to this base, talk to Eiling, tell him his plan sucked, and get him to give us the antidote,” Cisco said, spinning in the chair to face the group, arms stretched behind his head.

“I swear, Ramon it’s like you don’t even hear yourself churn out these stupid ideas,” Wells mocked, hands on his hips.

“Actually it’s not,” Barry finally spoke, backing up to sit on the edge of the cot, all eyes on him now. “Think about it. He’s known my identity for years now. The fact that he hasn’t come after me prior to this means he thinks I’ll be useful to him. His toxin failed. He gains nothing if I’m dead.”

‘I’ll talk to John, see if he can get you access to the base. I’ll be in touch,’ Felicity said before disconnecting the call.

“Barry, you can’t be serious,” Joe said, folding his arms over his chest.

“What have I got to lose?” Barry snarked, not looking up as he reached for the t-shirt he had abandoned during the procedure, pulling it over his head.  
“So we’re just gonna go in there and make demands,” Joe scoffed.

“Not we,” Barry said, looking up to meet Joe’s eyes, defiant. “Me.”

Silence and tension fell over the room as Barry and Joe’s gaze didn’t waver. Iris herself sensed what was coming, having grown up with many arguments starting just like this one between her father and her friend. When they were younger it was about Henry’s innocence, when Barry was finishing college it was about Joe not wanting him to work for the police due to its potential danger, and over the last few years about Barry being too eager to put himself in harm's way as the Flash. 

“Can we have the room, please,” Joe demanded rather than asked, his eyes not breaking contact with Barry. A quietly muttered ‘uh-oh’ from Cisco was all that was said as he, Harry, and Caitlin left the room. Iris lingered back before her father nodded at her, signaling her to leave as well. She was reluctant but knew this wasn’t negotiable.

“You are not going alone,” Joe said, his voice low and steady but filled with that disapproving tone Barry had heard many times in his life, some in this very building. ‘You think because you can run real fast that you’re invincible? You’re not. You’re just a kid. My kid.’

“I’m not putting anyone else at risk,” Barry countered, standing now toe to toe with his adoptive dad. 

‘If I can save someone from a burning building or stop some armed thieves, I’m gonna do it. And you can’t stop me. So don’t try.’

“And what are you going to do?” Joe replied, voice rising as his arms crossed tighter over his chest, a look of aggravation between his tight lips and furrowed brow. “You are ill, Barry. You don’t stand a chance by yourself against someone like Eiling who is clearly hellbent on putting you down!”

“This is my job, Joe!” Barry shouted back, his right hand pointing to himself. “I may not be able to use my powers but I’m still the Flash! I’m not dead yet!”

Joe stopped and stared, arms uncrossing as if his whole body released its anger, taken back by the anguish in Barry’s voice.  
“Barry,” Joe said, voice quiet now. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I know,” Barry sighed, bringing a hand to his head, clenching his eyes tightly as he moved to sit back down on the bed. “I’m sorry, I know you’re just worried. It’s just, I’m not used to being, feeling this helpless. It’s like everyone is talking around me about me and there’s nothing I can do. Its frustrating and I need to do something.”

Joe didn’t say anything at first, just watched his son admit to him about how powerless he felt. Joe could understand that feeling. He didn’t know how to help him, how to fight this. This toxin was killing his son and Joe was terrified to even fathom the idea of Eiling getting his hands on him, taking him to study and experiment. 

“I just don’t want you to get hurt,” Joe said quietly, coming to sit beside him. 

“And I don’t want Eiling getting anyone else I care about on his radar,” Barry replied, moving his right hand to thread through his hair, damp with sweat, hoping Joe didn’t notice the fever coming back as he felt the warmth spread through his body.

“Barry, you saw that file. They already know about me and Iris,” Joe rested a hand on Barry’s knee beside him. “I can’t lose you.”

“What about if Caitlin and I go with you,” a voice said from the door behind him. They both peered over their shoulders to see Cisco in the doorway. Both men shot him a look of daggers. “Would you be less mad if I said I wasn’t eavesdropping but was coming to get my phone that I left at the desk?”

“No,” Joe glared. 

“Okay fine,” Cisco put his hands in his pockets, moving further into the room. “Look, Eiling already knows Caitlin and I are in this whole thing with Barry but he doesn’t know we have powers. And while you guys were standing off, Felicity called me back and told us Dig knows a guy who can get us in.”

“Felicity called?” Barry asked, a small amused smile on his face. “I thought you said you left your phone in here.”

“Oh,” Cisco cringed. “Okay, my bad, I was eavesdropping.” 

Barry chuckled and Joe shook his head, knowing the discussion was now over. Barry was going to face off with Eiling, his two best friends by his side. He trusted Mr. Diggle to watch their backs but it still put Joe on edge thinking of the potential danger they were about to walk into. He couldn't already help but feel like he was losing is his son, he didn’t like the idea of putting him in a position where danger wasn’t possible but instead inevitable.


	4. Chapter 4

'If I lose my mind, If I lose control  
Won't you pull me out, won't you save my soul'

____________________________________________________________________________

 

He was burning. The fire was spreading, flames licking at his skin through his suit. He was trapped, couldn’t breathe, stuck under the heavy weight of the oppressive heat. It was all burning, could hear his friends crying out, his family shouting for him. He couldn’t move, couldn’t get past the fire that surrounded him. He couldn’t save them. 

‘Barry!’

He was no hero. Couldn’t get through this fire, couldn’t get to them. He’d failed them again. Over and over he’d let them down. It was Eddie who’d defeated the Reverse Flash, Ronnie who stopped the Singularity. Zoom was right when’d he paraded the Flash broken and bloody around Central City, showing them all he was nothing. He’d hurt them all by creating Flashpoint but in the end, couldn’t give up his life with them. As much as he missed his parents, his team was his life and he’d failed them. Was it really any surprise some version of him became evil, became Savitar. He was broken, wanted the pain to end and anyone who got in his way was just collateral. Had it really been that much different when he created Flashpoint? And then he just left them all behind.

‘Barry!’

He was losing, was becoming engulfed in the blaze surrounding his body but he needed to fight. He had to save them. He couldn’t let the fire incinerate him before knowing they were safe. He couldn’t fail them again.

“Barry, wake up!”

Barry sprung forward with a jolt and a gasp, frantically searching his surroundings. He was in an SUV, seated on the far left of the bench seat in the back, dressed in black from head to toe, his black utility jacket, and black jeans. Dig in the driver seat in a black drab jacket, black cargos, and black skull cap with Felicity beside him in the front passenger in a black turtleneck sweater and dark jeans. Cisco sat to the far right of the back bench, black hooded jacket and dark jeans with Caitlin in the middle between them, black leggings, black tunic, her black Killer Frost jacket and a charcoal pashmina scarf. They were all dressed for stealth.

Caitlin and Cisco were looking at him with an uncertain and anticipating gaze, Caitlin having had shaken him wake from the dream. There were no flames, no immediate danger, but Barry could still feel the oppressive heat and knew the fever was coursing through him.

“Where are we?” he asked, shifting up in his seat. 

“You slept through the whole car ride,” Caitlin grabbed his hand and extended his arm in front of her, fingers checking the radial pulse point in his wrist and frowning at the pace. 

“We just made it through the checkpoint thanks to Dig’s contact,” Felicity said, reluctantly tearing her gaze away from Barry as Caitlin forced a handful of Ibuprofen into his palm. Felicity would be lying if she said she wasn’t nervous. Barry was in no condition to be on any mission, and Oliver was supposed to be with them but had a lead on Diaz he had to follow up. So here they sat, one ex-soldier, an incapacitated speedster, a biochemist and two members of tech support in a van parked in the shadows. 

“My buddy who's stationed in Star City says he doesn’t know much about this facility other than its a light crew on base. He tried to get some info but keep getting hit with ‘need to know’ so we’re going in blind,” Diggle said, pulling his gloves on. “Caitlin, Cisco and I are going to break into the research lab and get what we need. Barry and Felicity are going to stay in the van and walk us through the base.”

“Wait-“ Barry started to protest, only to be interrupted by Caitlin.

“Barry, you’re in no condition to be trekking through there,” Caitlin said, fishing two of the auto-injectors from her bag and handing them to Felicity. “I need to go to be able to identify what we need and Cisco and John are my back up.”

“We’ll be in and out before anyone even knows we’re there,” Cisco said, glad he had stowed his goggles in Caitlin’s bag just in case. With Barry unable to use his powers, Vibe was their best secret weapon. He regretted instantly saying that though because he’d seen enough movies to know the minute you utter those words, you can expect it all to go off the rails. 

Barry wanted to argue, did not like the idea of staying behind. But as he tried to suppress a tremor, he knew he’d probably only slow them down more than anything.

“Fine,” he sighed. “But be careful. And try not to use your powers.”

“We’ll be back,” Dig said, nodding to Caitlin and Cisco to follow his lead as they exited the van. Felicity opened up her laptop and pulled up the schematics of the base, sparing a glance over her shoulder as Barry sunk into the seat, propping his head against the window, the cold of the glass a welcome relief. Felicity wanted to say something to help ease her friend’s worry, to break the mood or offer some sort of distraction. But at this moment, one of very few in her life, she found she didn’t have anything to say.

____________________________________________________________________________

 

“According to the log information, this is the research lab,” Diggle spoke quietly as they approached the end of the hall. The satellite base was small and mostly abandoned. The records indicated it was defunct, leading them to believe whatever research Eiling and his team were doing here, it wasn’t completely sanctioned by the military. 

Cisco stepped up and plugged his tablet into the port of the key lock panel and within minutes had it unlocked. With Diggle taking point, gun at the ready, the three of them filed into the empty room. 

The lab looked like one of the only rooms in the whole place that had been kept up and being utilized. Cisco made his way to the computer station while Caitlin to the cabinets and rows of test tubes and vials. Dig stood at the entrance, standing guard as the two scientists sought what they needed to save Barry.

“There is no mention of a cure or antidote,” Caitlin said after a few minutes of skimming through files of research notes.

“Project Harae,” Cisco said, opening up the records on the computer. 

“What?” Caitlin asked, moving to hover over Cisco as he pulled up the records, reading out loud over his shoulder. “It says Project Harae had been defunded after the military sanctioned it ‘inhumane’ and Eiling was pulled from the project for pursuing it ‘too passionately’.” 

“Which is usually code for ‘crazy’. This explains the creepy unofficial base and why Eiling was stealing from Stagg,” Cisco said, continuing to scroll through the file. “A lot of the info in here is redacted. Looks like the name of a company or organization or something that’s affiliated is just blacked out.”

“Harae is Shinto. It refers to rituals of purification of sin and uncleanness,” Diggle spoke up. “Speaks to this Eiling’s feelings on metahumans.”

“Caitlin, I don’t think they developed a cure,” Cisco scrolled through the files, voice desperate. “I mean Eiling is both arrogant enough to expect success and cold-hearted enough to not care about casualties.”

Caitlin moved back towards the vials and searched for ones labeled, fingers turning them in their stands and hovering over every one until she could feel her blood run cold. Three vials, labeled ‘Harae - Allen, B.’

“Then we’ll just have to make one,” Caitlin grabbed all three, moving them into a small black case in her bag to protect them in transport. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Felicity, we’re on our way back,” Diggle spoke into the comm. He only received static in response, praying it was only interference. He turned to Caitlin checking that she had the vials secured and then to Cisco, who was gripping the gun he’d given him tightly. “Stay alert and stay quiet.”

The three moved through the halls quickly but quietly. John was on edge, that feeling that something wasn’t right itching in his bones. He kept his gun held out and ready, eyes quickly scanning and ears tuned into the noises around them. They were almost out, approaching the back entrance they had come in through when a faint noise up ahead stopped him in his tracks. He held a hand out behind him, signaling the two scientists to halt. 

“Follow my lead and stay low,” Diggle whispered, receiving two nods in return. Gun at the ready, John rounded the corner and froze where he stood, heard behind him Caitlin gasp and Cisco cock his own gun.

They were met with four soldiers with assault rifles, two pointing directly at them. The third soldier had a hand held tightly onto Felicity’s arm, whose hands were clearly cuffed behind her back, and his rifle pointed at her neck. Kneeling on the floor was Barry, arms drawn behind him, a large scrape across his left cheek and the fourth solider standing behind him with his rifle pointed at the back of his head. 

“Lower your weapons or we will kill them,” the soldier behind Barry said, pressing the tip of the gun up against the back of his head. 

“Dig?” Cisco asked, unsure of what to do. John looked to Felicity, saw the fear in her eyes, before looking down to Barry who clearly was in pain but still managed to keep his composure. John raised his hands in surrender, heard Cisco do the same, and prayed Oliver finished his patrol soon.

____________________________________________________________________________

 

For the hundredth time in the last thirty minutes, Caitlin wished she had more control over her powers. Sitting back to back with Felicity, hands cuffed behind them, between the fear and the anger she was feeling in this situation, Killer Frost was more than ready to make an appearance but Caitlin was too afraid of losing control and unsure she was able to handle armed soldiers on her own while the rest of the team remain cuffed. Not to mention Barry had made her promise not to use them for fear of getting on Eilings radar as a potential threat or asset. She looked over to John Diggle who was cuffed with his hands behind him to a pipe against the far wall and judging by the way his upper body kept shifting, he was working hard to try to escape the double lock steel hinged cuffs currently binding them all. A look to Cisco who sat back to back with Barry near the center of the room showed the two talking in hushed voices. 

There were only two soldiers guarding them now that they had been restrained, one looking very pleased and the other very uncomfortable. 

“Dude” Cisco whispered, attempting to peer over his shoulder. “I can feel your hands shaking like crazy. You okay?”

“I’m trying to vibrate or phase out of these cuffs,” Barry said in an equally quiet voice.

“And?”

“Nothing,” Barry said, his breathing heavy. “I’ve been trying for the last 15 minutes.”

“Barry, Caitlin said you shouldn’t be using your powers, that it’ll drain your strength,” Cisco scolded. He was worried about his friend, could feel the heat radiating from his back pressed against him.

“I had to try something, I can't just sit here.”

“I know. I keep thinking if only my hands weren't literally tied,” Cisco chuckled, frustrated. “I could breach us out of here, but if I try with them bound behind me I’m afraid I’ll throw a portal right into you.”

“Yeah, let's not do that,” Barry managed a small laugh back. “Besides, I don’t want you or Caitlin using your powers. If something goes wrong, I don't want Eiling discovering you and Caitlin are metas too. We’ll figure something out. Or Ollie will find us. We just…we just gotta…”

“Barr?” Cisco asked as his friend's voice trailed, could feel the tremors of his hands now travel up his back as Barry began to seize.

Barry tipped over to his side, his arms behind him jerking, back arching, and a pained moan escaped.

“What the hell?” One of the soldiers voiced, the quiet one.

“He’s having a seizure!” Caitlin shouted. “Please let me help him!”

“It’s a trick,” the arrogant solider scoffed, pointing his gun in Barry’s direction.

“He’s sick, you asshole,” John shouted.

“You’re drug didn’t work. It’s killing him instead!” Cisco called over his shoulder, shifting to his knees to try and go towards Barry. He wasn’t sure what he could do with his hands cuffed behind him but he couldn’t just do nothing.

“Stay where you are,” the soldier said, moving his gun to point at Cisco now, causing the young man to fall back on his heels, sitting unmoving.

“He’s going to hurt himself,” Caitlin pleaded at the quiet soldier who seemed concerned, looking back and forth between her and Barry. “I’m his doctor, please let me help him!

The quiet solider quickly moved to un-cuff her from where she sat back to back with Felicity. 

“Miller!” the other solider protested as he did. Caitlin immediately scrambled over to Barry who was uncontrollably jerking and spasming on the floor, grunting in pain, his bound wrists trapped beneath him. She kneeled down in front go him, gently trying to turn him onto his right side facing her.

“Can you un-cuff him? He could dislocate his shoulder or hurt himself like this,” Caitlin asked desperately as the soldier that had un-cuffed her went to kneel behind Barry, helping her roll him onto his side.

“Don’t even think about it, Corporal,” the other solider ordered, not moving from where he was standing and unconcerned, gun still pointed at the man writhing on the floor. The soldier identified as Miller that was helping them followed the order, sparing a quick glance up at his superior officer before focusing his attention back to Caitlin. 

“Shouldn’t you put something in his mouth so he won’t swallow his tongue or something?” he asked, shooting her an apologetic look as he braced his hands on Barry’s shoulders to limit the jerking, unable to disobey the command. Caitlin was surprised by the genuine concern in his voice as he looked up at her.

“That actually can do more harm than good,” she tugged the pashmina scarf from around her neck and balled it up, gently sliding it underneath Barry’s head to protect it from further hitting the floor during his convulsing. Barry’s eyes were clenched tightly closed, pained grunts escaping between a clenched jaw.

“Please, in my bag is his medicine,” She looked to the man on the other side of Barry. He nodded, running off to the far end of the room. Caitlin sighed in a moment of relief before she moved her hand to Barry’s forehead and her other hand to his chin, checking that he was breathing. “Barry, you’re going to be okay.”

The soldier came back and handed her the auto-injectors and she quickly inserted one into Barry’s thigh. After a few minutes nothing happened, the seizure continued. Caitlin hesitated for a moment but grabbed the second injector and inserted it into Barry’s thigh as well. After a few moments of held breaths by everyone in the room, Barry’s jerking slowed till it finally stopped, his head lolling against the floor as he succumbed to the physical exhaustion, floating between consciousness, gasping for air.

Caitlin placed her hand over Barry’s forehead and tilted his head back, noticing he seemed to have trouble breathing. With her other hand, she pulled on his chin gently, opening his mouth to swipe two fingers and clear out the collected saliva that was blocking his airflow. His breathing seemed better but she was concerned with how heavy and rapid it was, brow damp with sweat, his temperature disconcertingly high, grunting in pain. She checked his arms for possible dislocation when she discovered that his cuffs were different than theirs. His were glowing blue.

“Are these power dampening handcuffs?” Caitlin gasped, moving her hands behind him to try to release them, knowing it was pointless but her concern overwhelmed reason.

“Of course they are,” the captor that had done nothing during the whole ordeal answered. “I know who he is.”

“These cuffs are suppressing his healing abilities which are the only thing keeping that poison you created from killing him!” She shouted. “You have to take them off!”

“Sergeant,” the soldier that had helped them started.

“I said don’t even think about it, Corporal,” he glowered as he crossed the room to grab Caitlin by the upper arm.

“Please! Let me just stay with him to make sure he’s okay!” She twisted as he roughly forced her to sit down back to back with Felicity once again and cuffed her hands behind her.

“At least don’t leave him there like that!” Felicity shouted. The guy shot her a glare before walking over to the middle of the room where Barry was lying, moaning as he began to regain consciousness. He grabbed him gruffly by the shoulder and dragged his limp body across to the where Diggle was cuffed to the pipe against the wall. 

“C’mon man, go easy on him,” John growled as the solider callously pushed Barry’s back against the wall, eliciting a groan from the barely conscious young man. Rather than uncuffing him though, the soldier grabbed a wire that was dangling from the wall, ripping it out and using to wrap around Barry’s chest and the pole behind him twice, securing his upper body with his hands trapped still behind him.

“Believe me, this is going easy,” the guy sneered at John as he finished restraining Barry to the wall before returning to the center of the room and grabbing Caitlin’s crumpled scarf. He folded it in half as he returned to the wall where Barry sat beside Diggle. 

“See, I can be nice. Now in case it happens again he won’t bite his tongue,” He smirked as he pulled the material taught in his grasp and pushed it hard between Barry’s teeth. 

“Didn’t you hear me?” Caitlin shouted. “Gagging him like that could do more harm than good! He could choke or it could hinder his breathing!”

“I don’t really care. I don’t want to hear his moaning and groaning,” He said as he dragged the long ends back to knot them tight at the base of his skull, pulling Barry’s head back with the action. When he finished, he abruptly let go and Barry’s head fell to his chest with a muffled moan.

A chorus of angry protests erupted from the room, the soldier spinning to glare at them all before placing the tip of his gun against Barry’s forehead, tipping his head back up against the wall with the pressure.

“Would you prefer I put the kid out of his misery?” He challenged, met with stifled glares as everyone looked on with terror. When he pulled the gun away, Barry’s head fell to his chest again. “That’s what I thought.”

“Come on, Briggs the kid is clearly sick,” the soldier who had helped, Miller, said to his teammate as he joined him in the center of the room.

“That kid, Miller, is a meta. He’s the whole reason we’re here,” Briggs smirked. “And he’s lucky, too. If he didn’t move so fast maybe I would have had a more direct hit the other night and we wouldn’t have to deal with him now.”

“You’re the one that shot him?” Cisco spat, looking up angrily. 

“Orders, kid,” Briggs rolled his eyes. “Flash or no Flash, meta’s are dangerous and need to be neutralized.”

“Wait, the Flash?” Miller turned to look at Barry who was currently panting pained groans behind his gag, trying to lift his head before having it loll forward again.

“Barry,” Diggle whispered, receiving no response. “Barry,” he said louder, satisfied when Barry lifted his head slightly, half conscious as he looked up at Diggle. “You’re wasting too much energy, you gotta save your strength. Put your head on my shoulder, man. Rest.”

Barry’s eyes began to close as he nodded, slowly laying his head on Diggle’s shoulder. 

“It’s okay, brother. I gotcha,” Dig whispered, sighing as Barry passed out. He wasn’t worried about his reputation as a tough guy, not when everyone he cared about in this room knew he was a softie. And he could care less what these thugs thought of him. Barry was a brother in arms and John Diggle took care of his family. 

“I thought the whole point of this is to try to cure them, not kill them,” Miller protested. “They’re saying it didn’t work.” 

“Good,” Briggs scoffed. “They’re not even human anymore. All they do is abuse their power. If you ask me I think we should just eradicate them.”

“It’s not their fault,” Miller protested. “Not all of them are dangerous, the Flash-“

“Shut up Corporal,” Briggs turned to face Miller, inches from his face, as he extended an arm behind him to point at Barry. “He may be playing hero now but eventually that thing will turn on us once the power gets to his head.” 

Miller looked to where Barry was chained to the wall, unconscious but face still tight in pain. 

“Now keep an eye on them while I go grab a smoke and see what the ETA on the boss is from Tompkins and Franks. Understood?” Briggs took a step back, eyeing Miller up and down.

“Yes, Sergeant,” Miller saluted before Briggs left down the hall, not sparing any of them a glance. Miller, however, seemed lost in thought as he watched him leave.

“John?” Caitlin called over across the room. 

“He’s out, Caitlin,” Dig said, looking down at the unconscious young man. “Breathing is labored and he’s shivering like crazy. I can feel the heat radiating off him.”

“Caitlin?” Felicity asked. She’d watched the whole episode, feeling helpless and nervous.

“It took two doses of the medicine this time,” Caitlin looked over her shoulder to Cisco. “He’s getting worse.”

“Is he really the Flash?” the soldier interrupted, looking to Caitlin. He didn’t wait for a response. “They told me we were going to help them, the metahumans.”

“Help them by exposing them to an untested compound that could not only kill their powers but kill them?” Cisco responded, agitation clear in his voice. “Yeah, big help.”

“I wasn’t a part of that mission. They said they were testing it on a violent meta,” Miller didn’t acknowledge them, looking at the hall that Briggs had exited before turning to look back over to where Barry slumped over against Diggle. “I didn’t know. I thought we were helping-“

“Listen to me Corporal,” John interrupted. “I’m a soldier myself. You’re following orders, you want to think the military is serving the people but sometimes bad people make bad calls and manipulate good people. You can make this right. Help us get out of this, help us keep him alive.”

Miller’s focus was fixated on Barry, watching the ill speedster take labored breaths, head resting on Diggle’s shoulder as he struggled and shifted between consciousness. Suddenly the sound of helicopter’s outside stole all of their attention.

“He’s here,” Miller whispered before moving over to where Caitlin and Felicity sat. He quickly uncuffed them both. Giving the keys to Felicity, he instructed “Free the others. The black one is for his cuffs. I’ll stand guard.” 

Caitlin wasted no time once her hands were freed and ran over to the wall where Barry was bound. 

“Barry,” Caitlin whispered, dropping down onto her knees in front of him. She gently rested one hand upon the unconscious man’s neck and the other against his forehead, tipping his head up. She felt for a pulse, both relieved and worried to find the rapid fluttering. The brow beneath her other hand was a temperature she knew was dangerous.

The sudden sound of gunfire and shouting from outside had them all on instant alert, Miller quickly bringing his gun to attention as he waited for a sign of trouble. After freeing Cisco, Felicity quickly ran over to John next and worked on uncuffing him. 

“Don’t move!” Miller called out to the shadows. 

“Put down your weapon or this arrow will do it for you,” a disembodied voice said from the shadows, familiar in its distortion. 

“Oli-shit, Arrow, no!” Cisco shouted, running to stand beside the solider. “He’s helping us!” The Green Arrow emerged then, bow still raised until the soldier lifted his gun and hand up in surrender. 

“What happened to the others?” Miller asked as the Arrow approached them, shouldering his bow. 

“Taking a nap,” he growled, scanning the room. “But the helicopter will be landing soon and something tells me if its someone important they’ll have backup.”

“Barry, please wake up,” Caitlin called out as she leaned up on her knees, tilting Barry’s head forward, resting it on her shoulder as she worked to untie the knot of the scarf gagging her friend. Getting it loose, Caitlin sat back on her heels, supporting Barry’s head up with one hand resting on the side of his neck while the other hand she used to hook her finger around the fabric in his mouth and pulled it away from Barry’s lips. She dropped it to the floor and with both hands held Barry’s face, cupping his cheeks. The heat radiating from his body had Caitlin concerned they wouldn’t get him back in time to try to lower his temperature. She gently shook Barry’s face, trying to coax some life from him, sighing in relief when finally he groaned, his head twitching in her grasp.

“Cait,” Barry blinked slowly, voice raspy and strained.

“That’s it, Barry. Stay with me,” Caitlin smiled before looking up to Miller.“Is there a cure? Do you know?”

John uncuffed Barry, supporting him by the shoulders as Barry slumped forward as the wire wrapped around his chest was then severed, too weak to hold himself up. 

“I’m not sure. I’m just security, they didn’t tell me much,” he answered. “All copies of the records are in the boss’s office though.”

“Lead the way,” Arrow ordered. “I’ll watch our six.” 

“I got him, Caitlin,” John assured, Caitlin reluctantly moving aside. 

“Barry, hey man,” John asked, “Can you walk?”

“I think so,” Barry said weekly, nodding his head and pulling away slightly from John’s supporting hands so John could shift his body. He moved one arm behind Barry’s back and wrapped it around his waist, the other he used to drape Barry’s left arm over his shoulders, his hand holding firm to Barry’s wrist. As John slowly lifted Barry from the floor, he couldn’t help but grit his teeth as Barry let out a moan. 

They made their way down the hall, Miller and Cisco taking the lead, Caitlin, and Felicity on either side of John and Barry with Oliver taking up the rear. Barry kept his head down the whole way, eyes squeezed closed, breathing through clenched teeth as they made their way through the building.

“Look not that I’m complaining but why are you helping us?” Cisco asked as they entered the room, the Arrow closing the door behind them. 

“I didn’t sign up to hurt anybody. Especially the Flash,” Miller said as he searched the filing cabinet, helping them look for any information they could find. Felicity typed away at the computer and Caitlin moved to stand in front of where John was leaning Barry against the wall, the two trying to check over the ill man. “About a year ago my kid brother was in the hospital with leukemia. One day, the Flash came by and visited the kids in the ward. My brother was beside himself he was so excited. It was the brightest I’d seen him since before he got sick. The Flash sat on the bed with him and talked to him for an hour. When he was going to leave, my brother admitted to the Flash that he was scared to die but wanted to be brave for his family. The Flash took the emblem off his suit and handed it to my brother and told him that when he was scared, this emblem reminded him that he could be strong, could be brave for the people he cared about. My brother held on for another few months, wouldn’t let that thing go, took that emblem into every chemo session with him but he lost the battle. But those few months, I hadn’t seen that much hope in him in a long time. It made him smile until the end.”

“Michael,” they heard Barry whisper from where John and he stood. 

“What?” Miller said, turning to face them.

“Michael,” Barry looked up at soldier through heavy-lidded eyes. 

“You remember him? All the people you help and save you remember my brother’s name?” 

Barry nodded before his eyes fluttered closed and went limp, Caitlin moving forward to help Dig hold the young man upright.

“I think I’ve got something,” Felicity said, pulling a jump drive from her pocket and loading the file. “It’s not the formula for an antidote but its the detailed notes of how they created the cytotoxin.”

“It’ll have to be enough,” Arrow said from where he stood guard at the door. “They’re coming.”

“Cisco, open a breach and get us out of here,” Caitlin said. Cisco obliged quickly, eyes closing as he pointed to the far side of the room and created a blue vortex portal. The soldier stood in shock as first Caitlin ran through immediately in order to prep for what she knew she would need to stabilize her patient. 

With little effort, Diggle shifted his arms underneath Barry’s shoulders and knees and lifted the younger man into his arms. Barry’s head fell back limp over Diggle’s arm, mouth slack and eyes still closed. John adjusted his arm, bouncing the man’s upper body slightly so that his head lolled onto his shoulder instead. He hesitated for a moment as he looked uncertainty at the portal before stepping through.

“With all the people he saves, he’s helped these past few years, how does he remember my brother?” 

“That’s the kind of hero, the kind of person he is,” Felicity said. “The kind of person your General Eiling is trying to hurt.”

“General Eiling? The General hasn’t been involved in the project in months,” Miller said, confused 

“Go,” Oliver motioned towards the breach to Felicity. She spared him a glance before following after John.

“Who is in charge then?” Cisco asked, sparing a glance at the soldier as his fist still held the breach open.

“I’ve never met him. They only refer to him as ‘the boss’ or ‘agent’,” Miller shrugged. “I’m sorry.”

“Are you coming with us?” The Arrow asked, turning to face the soldier, hearing the sounds of men shouting coming from down the hall.

“They’ll know I helped if I go AWOL,” Miller shook his head.

“Then all I can say is thank you for helping us,” Arrow shrugged. “And I’m sorry for this.”

And with that, Oliver raised his bow and struck it against the solider’s pressure point in the back of his head, knocking the man into unconsciousness immediately as he fell to the floor. Oliver ran into the breach and was followed shortly by Cisco, leaving whoever entered the room just as the vortex disappeared completely unaware of how they escaped.


	5. Chapter 5

'If I lose my mind, If you can't console, won't you pull me out  
Won't you save me now'

____________________________________________________________________________

 

The breach opened up to the cortex, John stumbled through, momentarily stunned at the trip. He wasn’t as nauseated as he usually was traveling at super speed but it was still jarring. He was brought back to the present in the flurry of chaos, suddenly remembering the valuable burden in his arms before instincts kicked in, following after Caitlin towards the medical bay.

He heard Felicity behind him shout something about hacking the security cameras to erase the footage from the base, heard Caitlin calling out for help to whoever was here at S.T.A.R. Labs as John ran into the sterile medical room.

He laid Barry onto the cot and Caitlin quickly rushed over, first inserting an IV into the back of Barry’s hand and then slipping an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, securing it behind his head. Dig watched for a moment as the mask fogged with each of Barry’s labored breaths before Caitlin calling out to Barry interrupted his focus.

“Barry? Barry, I need you to stay with me, okay? I need you to keep breathing, in and out,” she called out, lifting his lids to shine a penlight, frowning at their unresponsiveness. Barry blinked slowly, eyes unfocused and rolling as he seemed to search above him. 

“John, can you get a reading on his temperature?”

“On it,” John said, seeing Cisco and Oliver, hood now down, come running into the room.

“Caitlin?” Cisco asked.

“Cisco, tell Felicity to call Joe and Iris and then I need you to go fill the hydrotherapy tub in the locker room off the speed lab,” she ordered, not looking at him but looking to John instead for Barry’s temperature.

“111.3.”

“Damnit,” Caitlin cursed, pulling the IV bag from the stand to lay it on the bed beside Barry, hooking the oxygen to the back of the bed knowing they were going to have to move. Without needing direction, John circled around the bed and unlocked the wheels as Oliver ran over and brought up the guard rails. The three of them began wheeling the bed down the hall, Caitlin leading the way as she held the grip at the foot of the stretcher. 

The elevator down two levels and the trip down the hall to the locker room felt like forever. The whole way Caitlin kept trying to get Barry’s attention but to no avail. Barry moaned, body shivering, breath coming in short gasps as they rode the elevator down, traveling at a speed to the locker room that threatened to tip the stretcher if it wasn’t for the three people holding on tightly.

When they arrived, Caitlin ran ahead, calling out behind her to get him stripped as she ran over to the large metal tub where Cisco had been filling it. She replaced him at the faucet and placed her hand beneath the water stream. It wasn’t nearly cold enough and they couldn’t wait for it to reach the desired temperature. Taking a few deep breaths, she braced herself to access her powers, willing Killer Frost within her to cooperate and allow her to keep control. 

Oliver gently moved to the side of the stretcher and placed two hands between Barry’s shoulders and the mattress, lifting Barry into a seated position. Barry lacked the strength to hold himself up as he fell against Oliver’s chest, head lolling against his shoulder. 

“It’s okay, kid,” Oliver assured as Barry moaned, his body aching, as Oliver and Cisco wrestled the shirt over his head while Diggle made short work of his shoes, pants, and socks. 

“You’re gonna be okay, man,” Cisco said, more for his own benefit than his friend’s as he removed the IV needle from Barry’s hand and lifted the oxygen mask off his face. 

Oliver pulled Barry’s left arm across his right shoulder and slid his other arm beneath Barry’s knees, scooping up his legs as he lifted him up. He carried Barry the short distance to the tub where Caitlin was kneeling beside, her hand touching the top of the water as frosted mist spilled over her hand to cool the water, her eyes glowing an icy blue. Oliver hoisted Barry over the tall walls of the tub before lowering him in gently, his own arms making contact with the icy water. Even through the thick sleeves of his jacket, he could feel the sting of temperature. 

The shock of the cold water caused Barry’s eyes to shoot open, surprise and pain filling the cloudy green eyes. He let out an animalistic scream as he was placed in the water. He began struggling immediately, body twisting and stretching to escape the water. Caitlin grabbed the feet that tried to get leverage against the tub, pressing them beneath the water. Oliver kept a hand on his bare stomach, grabbing the flailing left arm, Diggle holding the shoulder and wrist of the right on the other side of the tub as they tried to prevent Barry from clawing his way out.

“Please, please,” Barry pleaded, gasping as his body struggled weakly, sobbing between gasps as he begged for them to let him go. Cisco stood by, unsure of what to do, almost ready to pull them all away from his friend and help him escape the tub because the agony in Barry’s voice was too much.

Joe came running in suddenly, followed by Iris and Felicity into the sight of them holding down Barry as he cried out.

“Barry!” Joe called out, moving beside the tub and slightly edging Oliver out of the way. He reached his arms into the water over the lip of the tub, uncaring of the soaked sleeves as he pulled Barry towards him, drawing the young man to a seated position but still in the water, holding him against his chest, the wall of the tub a barrier that kept Joe from holding him as close as he’d like to.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, you’re okay,” Joe called over Barry’s cries, an arm wrapped around Barry’s back in the water as the other cradled his head against his shoulder. Barry lifted his arms, body shaking as fingers dug into Joe’s shoulders. “I got you.”

“Please, Joe, it hurts,” Barry’s voice quaked, tears tracking down his face.

“I know. I know, son” Joe said, watching over Barry’s shoulder as Iris came to stand behind the tub, waiting to be of assistance. “But we need to get your temperature down. I need you to stay in the tub for a bit.”

“Too cold,” Barry’s voice hitched, clinging to his father and Joe felt a pang of guilt, almost ready to lift his son out of the water. The hold Barry had on him began to weaken and Joe knew he had exerted most of his energy trying to escape. Joe slowly and delicately pulled Barry away and lowered him back into the water. Barry whimpered, still holding tightly onto Joe’s arms but not putting up a fight as his upper body was submerged once more into the water as Joe leaned him back.

Iris propped herself up on the edge of the tub and reached her hands to brace Barry’s head, resting it upon her thigh that leaned upon the lip of the metal basin. 

“It’s okay, babe,” Iris assured in a quiet voice, leaning over slightly so she was in Barry’s line of sight, albeit upside down. She dipped a hand in the cold water and then brought it to his forehead, pushing his hair back towards her while the other hand rested on his shoulder. 

“Iris?” Barry asked, not noticing when Joe freed himself from the young man’s grasp, his arms lowering into the water as the shock of the cold faded. 

“I’m here,” her eyes filled with tears, bowing her head to smile down at him as he seemed to finally calm. “Just relax. You’re safe.”

The tension seemed to dissipate as Barry settled. Joe used the tub as leverage to stand up, watching in relief as Iris soothed the suffering young man. He almost jumped as Felicity appeared suddenly and wrapped a large towel around his shoulders. He grabbed the edges and pulled them across his chest, nodding his gratitude. 

“You and Iris seem to have calming him down to a science,” Felicity joked half-heartedly. 

“Years of practice,” Joe chuckled half-heartedly. “Barry went through…a lot of trauma as a kid. Nightmares were frequent. When they were younger, I tried to keep Iris away from Barry’s room so she wouldn’t have to see her best friend suffering. There had been nights though where she had heard the screams first, their rooms just across the hall from each other. I’d come running in and there she’d be sitting beside him, running her fingers through his hair and whispering kind and comforting words. But as they got older, the nightmares became rarer but also more terrifying for Barry, violent thrashing and calling out. The two of us became quite adept at handling it together.”

“He’s lucky he has both of you,” Oliver said, shedding himself of his wet jacket. Joe ducked his head before looking over to where Caitlin stood over the tub, keeping vigil, her eyes the warm brown that signified Frost was suppressed and Snow was in control, and Cisco who had moved to bring a towel to Iris, helping her ease Barry’s head up slightly and drape the towel across her lap. Between himself and Iris, and now having Cisco and Caitlin become part of their family, Joe knew Barry would always be in good hands.

“We’re lucky to have each other,” Joe nodded.

____________________________________________________________________________

The fever had finally broken, at its highest almost 112 but in the last twelve hours it had leveled out at a consistent 109. Barry was once again hooked up to an IV. When they’d gotten him settled after pulling him from the tub, they changed him into a pair of gym shorts and nothing else, laying him once more in the med bay. Cisco had breached Team Arrow home, reluctant to leave their friend’s side but needing to tend to their own city, leaving with the grateful hugs from Joe for protecting his son and promises from Cisco to keep them posted. 

Caitlin had checked his vitals, pupils equally reactive to light but slow in their reaction. She had expressed concern about brain damage, high fevers putting that at a great risk, and had asked him a series of questions when he was coherent.

He’d gotten them all correct if not slightly different than the answers they expected.

“Birthday?” Caitlin asked.

“March 14th,” he replied slowly.

“Full name?”

“Bartholomew Henry,” he breathed heavy, “West-Allen.” 

Iris smiled bittersweetly. She knew he hadn’t said it on purpose, that the fever was making it hard for him to focus and think clearly. But there was truth to his unfiltered answer. He was a West-Allen, as much a part of the West family, if not more, than the Allen family. Although she knew Barry had no intention of hyphenating his name as she had done, it still made her smile to know even on the subconscious level he belonged to Joe, to Iris. 

“Close enough. Do you know where you are?” Caitlin asked.

“Star,” he clenched his eyes as a spasm of pain, his body aching.

“Barr?” Joe asked, concern spreading as he hovered over where he lay, one hand moving to rest beside Barry’s head on the pillow, the other sliding to hold Barry’s right hand atop the mattress.

“M’okay,” Barry answered, looking up, squeezing the hand as tightly as he could in his weak grasp.

“Barry, do you know our names?” Caitlin asked, checking his pupils once more.

“Cait,” Barry sighed, a hand lifting slightly from where it had been draped over his chest and pointed to her. He then pointed to Iris who stood at the foot of the bed, a hand rubbing his leg through the sheet.

“I-Iris,” he said, breathless as his head lifted off the pillow, smiling slowly and dopily at her. Barry lowered his left hand then and turned his head to face Joe who hovered over him, gripping the hand in his and moving the hand beside the pillow to push the sweat-matted hair back from his forehead. Barry’s brow furrowed as he looked up at Joe, confusion and frustration on his face as he searched his mind for the word he was looking for.

“Dad,” Barry sighed before his eyes slid closed and he succumbed to exhaustion. His brain knew Joe’s name but all he could process at the moment was that the man standing in front of him, the man comforting him was his father, unable to filter between the feeling and the name. 

Since then over the course of the last four hours, Barry had floated in and out of consciousness. His O2 levels had dropped and Caitlin insisted that they needed to start respiratory therapy and put him on a BiPap machine. 

“It’s a noninvasive mask,” she explained as she eased the mask over his nose and mouth, fastening the straps at the chin and forehead securely around Barry’s flush face. “It’ll help his lungs to expand more to allow increased ventilation and clearing of CO2.” 

They had all taken turns sitting with him, each person having a hard time leaving his side for the next one to take over. Now once more Joe was seated in the chair beside the bed, pulled close to the head. His hand was massaging smooth circles in Barry’s scalp above the strap, just like he’d done countless times when Barry would try to go to back to sleep after a nightmare, or like when Barry lay in bed after Zoom broke his back and the pain was too much. His other hand still held onto Barry’s, his thumb gently moving back and forth over the knuckles of the lax hand, just as he had done for nearly nine months when his son was comatose. The difference this time was Barry’s fingers were slightly curled around his, his grip weak but still there.

The last few hours Barry would mumble under his breath, talking to Joe about a case he had been working on that he just thought of, about something from his childhood, nothing really connected and nothing making sense. It was clear to Joe that he was trying to stay awake, every time he began to doze he would force his eyes open and start talking. 

“Barry, you need to rest,” Joe said in a quiet voice, lowering his face to Barry’s eye level so his son didn’t have to strain to look at him. 

“I’m not tired,” was Barry’s quiet response, eyes closing in a long, heavy blink before opening again to look up at Joe.

“Mhmm,” Joe chuckled, amused at how much Barry sounded like the eleven-year-old boy who fought to stay awake, afraid of the dark and the nightmares that were sure to come. It had been like that for weeks as Joe and Barry adjusted to their new dynamic, not as Iris’ friend and Iris’ father, but as a parent and a child. Until one night after a shouting match, Barry confessed his fears, his anger turning into despair as he threw himself into Joe’s arms and cried. From then on for most of the first year, Joe would sit beside his bed most nights until the boy fell asleep, sometimes returning when the nightmares did come. From then on for years to come, Barry knew he was safe with Joe, safe to tell him his fears, to share his heart, to trust him to take care of him. 

“You thirsty?”

When Barry nodded, Joe reached for the cup of ice chips on the bedside tray. Barry hadn’t been able to keep anything down, the IV his only source of nutrients. Scooping a few onto the plastic spoon, Joe helped as Barry shifted to sit up a little more. With one hand easing his neck and head, Joe first unclipped the mask and moved it to the side. Then Joe guided the spoon to his mouth. Barry lifted a heavy hand as if to help but his fingers just barely made contact with Joe’s hand. 

Barry sighed as the ice soothed his mouth, dry as if filled with cotton. He accepted another spoonful, relishing the relief as the ice dissolved as he eased his head back down onto the pillow. 

“Do you remember when you brought home one of the K9 dogs to train,” Barry said, a slow smile spreading across his face. “Was the closest thing Iris and I had to a pet.”

“Single parent whose a cop with two kids, didn’t really need to throw a dog in the mix,” Joe interjected, lifting another few slivers of ice to Barry’s lips, watching as he swallowed it down before reattaching the BiPAP mask. “Duke.”

“Yeah I don’t know why you got to pick the name,” Barry sighed, still smiling tiredly up at Joe even behind the mask. “He never got excited about treats but would run to the kitchen every time he heard the noise the freezer would make when it was making ice. He loved ice. He’d love Caitlin.”

Joe couldn’t help the laugh that burst from his lips. It was probably more out of relief than Barry’s anecdote, but it felt good either way. His son’s voice was steady if now slow and breathy but Joe was just happy to hear him as lucid as he was, sounding so much like the endearingly strange young boy he’d raised. He may not always understand Barry, but Joe would always listen, would always just be happy to hear his son. He’d spent far too much time without him, between nine months in the coma and six months in the Speed Force, Joe knew how quiet his life was without Barry and it was a quiet he never wanted to hear again. Watching his son fading away now reminded him of that.

Barry felt his eyes growing heavy, trying to continue to fight his exhaustion. Joe watched him battle to stay awake. As much as he would love to listen to Barry talk about anything or nothing, he knew his son needed the rest.

“Stop fighting it. Close your eyes, son.” Joe smoothed back Barry’s hair. 

“But what if,” Barry stared at Joe, his voice small beneath the mask, plaintive as the smile fell. His eyes glassy and unfocused. “What if I don't wake up?”

“Caitlin isn't going to let you die, Barr,” Joe tried to reassure, still running comforting fingers through Barry’s sweat-matted hair, fever bright on his cheeks. Barry closed his eyes briefly, shaking his head slightly.

“No, what if I close my eyes,” Barry answered, pausing only to lick his lips, still dry from the heat despite the cubes of ice he just had, “and don't wake up again for nine months?”

“Listen to me. We are going to get you through this. You are strong, you are a fighter, and you are not going to let that son of a bitch win,” Joe stared into Barry’s eyes. His voice was firm but quiet, trying to swallow down the heartbreak at his son’s confession of his fear of losing more time to another coma. “But you need to rest.”

Barry just sluggishly continued to look up at him as Joe studied his face, could see the fear on his face coming through the clear exhaustion. Joe reached for the hand towel soaking in the bowl of cool water from the bedside table, bringing it to Barry’s overheated forehead.

Barry sighed almost instantly, his eyelids fluttering for a moment before blinking back up at Joe. It was then Joe began to hum softly, dabbing the towel against his skin, droplets of the cool water rolling back through Barry’s hairline.

‘I was born by the river in a little tent  
Oh and just like the river, I’ve been running ever since’

The humming turned into soft singing, a tune Joe had sung many times, an old soul song by Sam Cooke that Joe had started singing to Barry when the young boy had woken from a terrifying nightmare. He didn’t know why that song had sprung to his mind the first time he held a shaking eleven-year-old in his arms as he lulled him back to sleep, wasn’t sure why it calmed Barry the way it did; all he knew for sure was comforting his kids was one of his strongest skills that came naturally to Joe on instinct.

‘There have been times that I thought I couldn't last for long  
But now I think I'm able to carry on  
It's been a long, a long time coming  
But I know a change is gonna come’

Joe sang the lyrics, humming the rest of the music close to Barry’s ear, the soothing and cooling towel he continued to dab across the flushed head. Barry’s breaths began to even out, his eyelid’s fluttering closed under heavy lids as Barry finally fell asleep.

Caitlin hadn’t meant to intrude but she couldn't help but watch as Joe wiped at Barry’s flushed brow, gentle dabs with a quiet, soothing song. She had been on her way to talk to Joe about Barry’s condition when she heard the whispered conversation. Even now as Barry slept, she could hear Joe whispering to Barry quiet words of ‘you’re okay’, ‘you’re gonna be okay’, 'I got you’, as he rung out the towel in the empty bowl, re-soaked it in the cool water, and gently reapplied it to Barry’s head. She was reminded of when Barry was in the coma and once every two weeks on one of his visits, Joe would take it upon himself to shave Barry’s stubble or trim his hair, trying to keep Barry looking like his Barry. Sometimes Joe would talk about the goings on at work with a smile as he worked, sometimes he would sing quietly like this, and a few times Caitlin would notice Joe’s silence and sad eyes. 

Today she saw those sad eyes again, but she was sure that Joe couldn’t remain silent, finding comfort in speaking words of reassurance that were going unheard by the now unconscious young man.

“Ya’ know, Iris used to stand by the door when I’d be trying to calm Barry back to sleep in those early days, watching and waiting,” Joe said suddenly, causing Caitlin to return from the memory. His voice was amused, but he didn’t look up from his ministrations. “I’ll tell you what I would tell her. If you stand in that doorway any longer I’ll start calling you a door.”

Caitlin felt a pang of guilt at being caught, something she’s sure young Iris had felt when that was said to her, and finally entered the medical bay.

“I didn’t want to interrupt,” she said, coming to stand on the other side of the bed. She checked the vitals again all though they remain unchanged. She already knew them, the readings also displayed on her tablet so she could monitor them even when she wasn’t in the room, but she was stalling, unsure how to start the conversation with Joe she needed to have. 

“We’re losing him,” Joe spoke suddenly. It wasn’t a question. Caitlin raised her eyes to meet his, seemingly startled by the interruption of her thoughts.

“His vitals are stable for now, Joe,” Caitlin started.

“For now.”

Caitlin could feel her stomach tighten. It had been easy in the beginning all those years ago before she knew Barry and before she knew Joe as anything other than her patient’s foster father. Back when Barry was in a coma and not someone she viewed as a brother, when Joe wasn’t the patriarch of them all, when the only thing she cared about was his physical well being and not protecting their hearts. 

“The Speed Force levels in his cells are at 15 percent,” she inhaled deeply, about to continue before Joe looked at her with eyes that were desperate and pained like the night Zoom broke Barry’s back and he stopped breathing, Joe pumping air into his lungs as Caitlin charged the defibrillator to bring Barry back to them. 

“He hasn’t had a seizure since we were at the base last night and normally that would be a good thing,” she continued, absently reaching a hand to grip the arm on the bed below her, fingers hovering over his pulse as if the consistent rapid thump encouraged her to continue. “But the seizure was an indication that his powers were trying to heal him. With the levels so low, I think all his power is being utilized to just fighting off the toxin rather than trying to repair the damage.”

“Is that why his fever hasn’t spiked, why its just staying at 109?” Joe asked.

“Without an antidote or treatment, we’re only left with treating the symptoms and supportive care. His body temperature is so high that traditional methods of lowering it like the cool IV fluids, the ice packs, mist and fans are not working as they should. He’s suffering from hyperpyrexia currently, which for a normal person is a temperature about 106.7. His heart and respiratory rates are dangerously high. Even with the BiPAP, he’s not getting a whole lot of better. If he doesn’t start to turn the corner soon we may have to put a breathing tube in. I am afraid that he could suffer from permanent brain damage if we don’t come up with something soon or-“

“Or we will lose him,” Joe sighed, closing his eyes for a moment before he removed the towel from Barry’s forehead, wringing it out and soaking it in cool water once again before replacing gently on the fevered brow. “You might have noticed I’m overprotective of my kids, Barry especially.”

“I have noticed,” she smiled sadly.

“It’s not just because of what he went through with his parents,” Joe said, eyes unwavering from the sleeping face of his son as he spoke. “When the kids were about twelve I took them on our first family vacation to the beach in Coast City. We're in the water, I'm horsing around with Iris while Barry is just kind of hanging out on his boogie board just a few feet away. A tide comes in, Iris and I jump into it, ride the wave, having fun and I turn around to check on him and I couldn't see him. I searched the area, calling his name. I told Iris to get to the shore and a few people nearby came to help. Turns out Barry was embarrassed because he didn't know how to swim so he didn't tell us. He lost his footing when the wave hit, got swept under. We found him about twenty feet away from where we originally were, water was about eight feet deep. And Barry, well he was small, smaller than Iris until he had a growth spurt when he was 13, mixed with not being able to swim and he couldn’t break the surface. When I found him he wasn't breathing, carried him in my arms up to the shore. Iris was crying and I was giving him mouth to mouth, couldn’t find a pulse. The lifeguard grabbed the AED and was able to revive him after two hits but I was terrified. We took him to the hospital, had him checked out and they said he was fine, but he was shaking like a leaf he was so traumatized. Wouldn’t let go of my hand the whole way there and back, clung to me when we got back to the hotel room. I had one of them on each side of me that night as they slept, both so shaken from what happened and honestly, I was glad they wouldn’t let go first because I didn't want to leave their side. I'd barely had him in my care for a year and in a blink of an eye, I'd almost lost him. For weeks every night when he went to bed, I’d check on him before I’d go to sleep, and I would put my hand on his chest while he slept just to make sure he was still breathing. By then, he was my kid. I mean you know Barry, it’s so easy to fall in love with him. Imagine a four foot nothing version, all cheeks and green eyes that smiled even though he’d already seen his darkest day at eleven years old.”

The silence hung in the room for a moment as Joe’s story came to an end, Caitlin unable to find the words to respond. She knew what it was like to be scared for Barry’s life, to feel like if only you’d been more cautious you could spare him the pain. But then Joe finally looked up at her, his eyes catching her own and she could see the same thought mirrored in his.

“I can’t lose him, Caitlin.”

“We’re still trying to synthesize an antidote but its complicated,” she shrugged, trying to swallow the tears threatening to release, knowing how unhelpful it sounded. She had to remain strong because if she fell apart, she knew she’d be ripping any shred of hope they all had left. She had wanted to give him hope, tell him good news. But the truth was she had come in here originally to tell Joe they were running out of time.

Joe stood up then, leaning over Barry’s sleeping form. He brushed his hair back once more before pressing his lips to his brow as he kissed his son’s forehead.

“Joe-“ Caitlin started, unsure of what she was going to say.

“I’m gonna call Iris,” Joe said, reluctantly leaving his Barry’s bedside. “I sent her home to sleep about a couple hours ago but I think she should be here.”

Caitlin didn’t say anything else, just nodding tightly as he walked past her, placing a hand on her shoulder briefly before leaving the room. 

Two hours later had Joe and Iris keeping vigil, Barry still asleep, Ralph on patrol, with Harry, Cisco and Caitlin in the lab wings of the Cortex desperately trying to piece together a cure. 

“It doesn’t make any sense,” Harry broke the silence in an outburst, the clipboard he was holding slamming against the desk. “This formula is so asinine it’s impossible to try to reverse. No wonder it failed!”

“We’ve been able to isolate a few of the components to halt the spread but at this rate of deterioration,” Caitlin added her frustration to his, “the damage is too severe to just halt the virus. If he stands a chance, we need to reverse the process.”

“But what if the damage is permanent?,” Cisco asked. “I mean say by some miracle we’re able to restore the cells to healthy, what are the odds we can restore his powers?”

“At this rate, we’ll just be lucky if we can revive the cells, Ramon. Him living is more important than him being the Flash,” Harry sighed, pushing his glasses up to rest atop his forehead as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I think I can help with that.”

They all spun at the sound of the new voice standing in the Cortex. Joe who had seen the arrival through the observation windows immediately stood and trained his gun at the intruder.

“Eiling,” Cisco spat the name as if it was a swear word. 

“You stay away from my son,” Joe commanded, gun aimed as he and Iris both reactively came around to stand between Eiling and Barry.

“There is no need for the hostility, Detective. I come alone and unarmed,” Eiling said, hands up in mock surrender. 

“I got a list of good reasons to shoot you so you’re gonna need to come up with something better than that,” Joe snapped back. 

“How ‘bout the antitoxin to Project Harae?” Eiling asked, his face in that ever-present smirk implying he had the upper hand. The faces around the room assured him that in this case, it was true. He waited until Joe lowered his weapon to continue. “I know you didn’t get it when you broke into the facility. Surely that’s worth something to you.”

“How do you know about that? We were under the impression you no longer were part of the project,” Cisco asked, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Two of the men still working at the base are still loyal to me. They told me of your little field trip, as well as how poorly Mr. Allen looked. How is the hero?” Eiling craned his neck to peer around the bodies blocking his view. Iris instinctually took a step to the right to further block his view as Joe raised his weapon once more.

“You better start talking before Detective West grows impatient,” Harry smirked from where he leaned up against one of the workstations.

“Aren’t you supposed to be dead, Harrison,” Eiling scowled.

“Long story,” Harry shrugged. 

“You said you have the antitoxin,” Caitlin interrupted, growing impatient. Barry was running out of time and the hostile banter could drag on. “The records didn’t indicate there was one.”

“When I was removed from the project, I scrubbed the files and secured any samples.”

“Why?” Caitlin asked.

“It’s called leverage, Dr. Snow,” Eiling spoke, moving deeper into the workroom to peer through the observation glass into the med bay. “This was my project, my years of work and someone comes in and takes over, edges me out. When I left, I managed to set their work back by erasing some of their information, leaving them squandering for progress by stealing research from other sources and premature testing.”

“Who did this to him then?” Joe asked, finally lowering his weapon completely.

“That’s not information you need to know,” Eiling answered quickly. “All you need to know is they are even less interested in you’re son’s well being than I am. Believe me, you’d rather have me leading this experiment than them.”

“So what's in it for you?” Iris challenged.

“As I said, Mrs. West-Allen, leverage,” Eiling met her gaze. “The experiment failed. My intention may not have been to kill Mr. Allen but I still intend on curing metahumans.”

“You mean sterilizing them,” she spat back.

“Call it what you will but I’m willing to hand over the antitoxin-“

“In exchange for what?” Cisco interrupted.

“You’ve been treating Mr. Allen for 4 years, from the time he left the hospital to today. Studying him, testing his powers, current analysis of his DNA. I want a copy of all of it and a sample of his blood prior to being infected,” Eiling spoke, hands clasped behind his back as he addressed Caitlin. 

“No way! So you can try this all again?!” Harry shouted.

“So we can get it right!” Eiling shouted back. 

“You were working off an old blood sample weren’t you?” Caitlin’s heart dropped at the realization.

“When we started this project we were able to procure his medical records from his month at the hospital after the lightning struck him and before Wells brought him here for treatment,” the General explained, gaze now focused on the man lying unconscious in the bed on the other side of the glass. “My scientists suspect that's why it didn’t work, the sample was before his DNA had fully transformed.”

“You son of a bitch,” Joe cursed. 

“Look, your son, your friend, your husband is running out of time,” he turned to address the group, pulling a vial of blue liquid out of his fatigue jacket pocket. “By the looks of it I don’t think he’ll make it through the night, wouldn’t you say Dr. Snow? Look its simple. Let him die now and I’ll move on to the next meta to test this on or give me what I want and your hero lives to save another day.”

“How do we know this even works?” Cisco reached for the vial only for Eiling to extend his hand to Caitlin. 

“Test it. I’m a patient man, I can wait. But it’s clear he can’t,” he said, head motioning towards Barry as he held the vial out towards Caitlin. “Do we have a deal?”

Caitlin looked to Joe and Iris, the ones who ultimately had the say since Barry was unable to make a decision for himself.

“What’s our other choice, Caitlin?” Joe asked sincerely. Caitlin looked him in the eye and then spared a glance towards Iris who had moved back to Barry’s bedside when she sensed him shifting. Caitlin watched as Barry’s eyes barely opened before squeezing closed again, moaning in pain but settling as Iris gently shushed him, telling him it was okay as she grabbed his hand in hers. 

“We don’t have one,” Caitlin answered, meeting Joe’s eyes once more. With a nod from the older man, Caitlin took the vial from Eiling, resisting the rising urge to freeze his hand as she did.


	6. Chapter 6

'I am whole, I am light, I am something  
I'm a light, I am calm'  
____________________________________________________________________________

Iris looked up at the monitor again. No change, still 109. She spared a glance through the observation window and saw Caitlin, Harry, and Cisco hovering over a monitor. She could tell they were exhausted, working hard to not only help Barry fight this fever but to find a cure, for hours now non-stop. They needed a break. Looking to her father who had dozed off in the chair on the other side of Barry’s bed, she knew they all needed a break. But looking down at Barry, his head slowly lolling from side to side on his pillow as he whimpered in pain beneath the BiPAP oxygen mask, fever spots on his cheeks, sweat constantly coming off his exhausted body, she knew he needed the break most of all. 

He’d been in and out of consciousness, nonresponsive and delirious for over an hour now, calling out quietly for his parents, for Joe or Iris, heartbreaking pleas for help. Iris and Joe had tried to soothe him, to calm him from his unseen pain just like they'd had for years with his night terrors, but it barely helped. She knew he was fighting, holding his own against something that would have already killed a lesser person.

Iris cupped Barry’s face with her left hand while she brushed the fingers of her right hand through his hair, the sweat not phasing her the slightest as she desperately tried to soothe him. 

“It’s okay, Barr. It’s okay,” Iris responded to a pained moan, her voice soothing as her hand moving to gently stroke the side of Barry’s face with the back of her fingers as the other reached for the cloth to cool his overheated brow. Barry’s eyes clenched, head continuing to loll back and forth.

“P-Please, I-Iris, please,” Barry sobbed quietly. She wasn’t sure what he was asking her, for relief she couldn’t provide, for help against a threat only he could see in his fevered dreams, or for an end to this. She’d do anything she'd have to against any of those if she could. But not for the first time at S.T.A.R. Labs, she felt helpless. She understood Barry Allen better than any person in the world, knew what he needed mentally, emotionally and physically in times of sadness and joy. But here at S.T.A.R. Labs, she felt like her contributions were limited, at least in certain aspects. Cisco and Caitlin were as much a part of The Flash as Barry’s speed, knowing the mechanics and the biochemistry of the speedster, his meta powers and the limitations of them. They were the ones that could save him now. Them, Dr. Wells, and a man who was partly responsible for putting him in this state. Despite that, he turned to her, like so many times in his life when there was someone more suited to be the aid he needed, pleading to her for unspecific help to get him through this, relying on her, that basic human need for someone to watch over them. His implicit trust in her was one of the most rewarding and terrifying things, an unconditional faith and love that Iris vowed to keep safe and return every day of her life, even before they had said their vows. So even though she couldn’t fix him, she'd do her damndest to help him where she could.

“I know, babe, I know,” she cupped his cheeks in her hands again, trying to calm him over his breathy groans, tears stinging her own eyes. His eyes opened, unfocused, looking up at her but unseeing in his fever haze, tears mingling with the droplets of sweat down his cheeks. “Shh, shh. Just breathe, babe. ”

An hour later Caitlin had been checking his vitals and Iris could see the fear in her eyes. 

“Caitlin?”

“His o2 levels have dropped into the low 80s. He’s rapidly deteriorating and the mask just isn’t cutting it. We have to sedate him and put him on a ventilator. His carbon dioxide levels are high and it's making him sleepy and suppressing his drive to take breaths on his own. Since he’s not taking enough breaths on his own, his CO2 levels are going to get even higher. It’s a self-perpetuating cycle that if left unturned…” Caitlin couldn’t finish the sentence. They all knew how little time they had left. “The ventilator will help.” 

Iris looked down at her struggling husband. The idea of a breathing tube brought her back to when Barry was in a coma. It had made it so much harder, to see him so fragile, that it sent a shiver down her spine. But after four-plus years, Caitlin knew better than anyone how to care for the ailing speedster. Iris looked up to her friend who was offering her the chance to make the right call but ultimately she knew Caitlin would do what she thought was necessary. Iris appreciated the courtesy and nodded in affirmation to the doctor. 

With Barry sedated, they all resumed their tasks. Joe and Iris kept a constant vigil while Harry, Caitlin, and Cisco worked as fast and as careful as possible, simultaneously trying to ignore Eiling’s hovering presence but reluctantly thankful for his first-hand input.

“It’s slow, but it’s restoring the cells,” Caitlin said, pulling away from the microscope, sparing a glance up through the observation window. They were running out of time, Barry was running out of time. She’d rarely felt pressure quite like this. 

“Will he have his powers?” Cisco asked, unable to stop the hope in his voice.

“The ones that have been repaired are rapidly regenerating and are generating energy again but this is a small sample. We have no idea how it will affect his entire connection to the Speed Force,” Harry said, sliding his glasses up to rest atop his head as he rubbed at his eyes. 

“But it is eradicating the poison and healing the cells. Normally I’d want to see the results over a period of a few days of trials but...” Caitlin’s voice trailed off as she gazed up to look through the observation window again, past the worried family sitting beside their quickly fading friend and to the screen showing numbers to vitals that expressed just how close they were to losing him.

“We don’t have that kind of time,” Wells finished for her. They had been able to replicate and synthesize more of the antidote from the sample given to them for multiple treatments relatively quickly. And he agreed with Caitlin; scientific reason said they needed to do more testing. Human condition, however, said they needed to act now. “We don’t have a choice, Snow.” 

Caitlin offered no response, just grabbing the vial off the desk and headed towards the medbay. She hovered in the entrance, taking in the moment to watch the three occupants of the room. Joe and Iris both looking up once they heard the clack of her heels come towards them and saw what the doctor held in her hand. 

“His fever’s no longer receding. His temperature hasn’t dipped below 109 and his Speed Force levels are at 11%. If we don’t try something soon...” Caitlin didn’t need to finish the sentence. They all knew what was at stake. There was no more time to test the antidote or worry about whether or not he would have his powers. She was ready to administer the cure but felt like it needed to be a decision made by Iris, Barry's partner.

In all her strength, Iris took only a moment to lean over, to kiss his cheek right above where one of the straps secured the breathing tube, before looking up to Caitlin and nodding. Caitlin spared no time and crossed the room quickly, connecting the vial to his IV drip, hearing Harry and Cisco enter the room behind her as they all watched the blue liquid flow through the IV line and enter Barry’s system.

Caitlin explained to them that because of the severity of his condition, the infusion needed to be administered over the course of a few days and had to be given slowly; that it wouldn’t be instantaneous. She needed to observe Barry closely, his blood pressure, pulse, and temperature checked regularly. After the infusion was finished they’d need to monitor him to check for any side-effects before administering more of the antitoxin.

“And now we wait,” a voice spoke from the doorway, all heads snapping to face Eiling who leaned against the door frame with an arrogant smirk and an expression on his face that every single occupant in the room wanted to knock off him.

“No,” Joe said, standing up from his chair. The man had said very little in the last couple of hours, his focus unwavering from his dying son. It reminded Iris of their time in the hospital, Joe barely leaving Barry’s side for weeks, not eating or sleeping enough, a singular focus. But as he stood now, his hand still unmoving from where it held Barry’s wrist, the venom in his voice and rage in his eyes was something no one expected. “We wait. You leave.” 

“That was not-“

“The deal was the cure for the intel you wanted. They’ll give you what you came for and then you’ll leave. Or I’ll make you leave.” There was no room for debate in Joe’s tone. The hand that wasn’t holding the arm of Barry hovered over his stowed weapon. 

Harry couldn't help but smile as he moved across the lab, grabbed the file of the compiled information Eiling had blackmailed out of them and took a small amount of satisfaction as he not so gently pushed it against Eiling’s chest. 

“This isn’t over,” Eiling snarled.

“It will be for you if you dare to step foot into this facility again.” Joe’s words sounded like a threat but there was no doubt in anyone's mind that he was indeed just stating a fact. “And if you even dare to come after my son, I’m not a cop and you’re not a General. I’m a father who will shoot you where you stand for hurting my family, you understand me?” 

General Eiling said nothing in response. He showed no fear but his expression said that yes, he did understand. With that, he turned on his heel and exited S.T.A.R. Labs, leaving Team Flash behind. 

No one said anything in response. All attention was returned to the occupant of the bed in the middle of the medbay. All anger and conviction melted from Joe as he collapsed back into the chair. Inching the chair as close to the bed as he could, he reached for Barry’s right hand and held it in-between both of his, squeezing it lightly, cautious of the IV lines.

“Barr,” Joe started, his voice cracking slightly, quiet and just for Barry, uncaring if the rest of the room heard. “You take your time, son, but we need you to get better. We’re all here for you. But you can’t give up on me, kid. Not now. You’re a fighter. Keep fighting.” 

____________________________________________________________________________

 

When Barry awakens the first time, everyone is there. Tired and hazy eyes see the whole team, even Harry and Ralph, gathered sporadically around the room.

The second time he wakes up, Joe is asleep in the chair beside him, list to the side with one hand barely propping up his head but the other still held loosely around Barry’s wrist. A small tilt of his head reveals Iris typing on her laptop. Then she notices the micro movement of his head and immediately places it on the floor beside her, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. A cool hand brushes gently through his hair. Her words are quiet and eyes are wet, but Barry can’t really understand what she’s saying. The tone is soft and comforting regardless and he’d give anything to answer her back but the exhaustion pulls him back.

The third time he wakes up he can see and hear a little clearer. The third time its Cisco who is asleep, bent over with arms folded on the mattress beside him, snoring softly, while Caitlin stands over him with her stethoscope checking his radial pulse. He remembered waking up from the coma so many years ago to these two strangers, confused and feeling alone. But now, waking up and having them with him, Barry felt comfortable and safe. 

Caitlin held his upturned hand gently in hers, fingers wrapped around his wrist while she confirms his pulse with the monitors, eyes focused down as she counts. He smiles slightly as his fingers flex and she gasps, eyes shooting up. 

“Barry!” She exclaims, quickly wrapping the stethoscope around her neck and reaching for her ever-present penlight. Barry was silent as she went about the routine, laughed as Cisco snorted himself awake and was quick to follow Caitlin’s barked orders. 

It’s the most alert he’s been since he woke up but keeping up with their questions and answers to his questions is still difficult. He was sedated until he was stable, almost 19 hours after the antidote was first administered and the breathing tube was removed. Another 10 hours till he woke up the first time after sedation. And now, nearly a day after that, the last of the antidote administered, a manageable temperature of 102 and a nasal cannula the only breathing assistance, they could finally say Barry was out of the woods. 

“Your fever has finally broken and your body is starting to get back to its equilibrium,” Caitlin smiled at him. It was just them in the medbay now, Cisco having had left to call Joe and Iris. Apparently, after a certain point in the waiting, the team had taken shifts keeping vigil. 

“And my powers?” He was almost afraid to ask but the smile that spread on Caitlin’s face provided instant relief.

“Your Speed Force levels are increasing. Slowly, but I checked your vitals earlier and they were at 57 percent,” she said, squeezing his shoulder encouragingly at his sigh of relief. “I’d say within a day or two you’ll be back up and running.”

“Pun intended, I hope,” Barry smiled back as Caitlin laughed. “Caitlin, you saved my life. Again. Thank you.”

“Barry,” Caitlin’s smile fell as she spoke. “We couldn’t figure out the antidote. I tried everything, the whole team did, but we just were running out of time.”

“Then how did you cure me?” 

Caitlin explained to him everything. About Eiling, the intentions of the project and how he sabotaged it. She told him about the deal they made and the urgency to save him because they were just hours away from losing him if they didn’t make that deal.

“So, he’s going to try again?” Barry asked, bringing his hands to scrub at his face as he tried to process everything. He didn’t blame them, it was just a lot to take in.

“It seems that way. But it sounded like he was just a piece of the puzzle. We have no idea who was behind the attack and heading the project.”

“But we’ll figure it out. Top priority,” Cisco said as he entered the medbay, Joe and Iris in tow. Cisco must have breached them back to S.T.A.R. Labs; Harry and Ralph close behind from where they had been working in the Cortex.

“Top priority is you getting better,” Iris interjected, rushing to his bedside. She hovered over him and despite the weight of what was just discussed, Barry felt his heart become light as he gazed up at the woman he loved. 

“Hey,” he whispered.

“Hey, yourself,” she whispered back, leaning in to kiss him gently on the lips twice before pressing her forehead against his. Barry couldn’t help but notice the tears beginning to form in Iris’ eyes.

“Iris, its okay,” he whispered, bringing his hands to frame her face, thumbs tracing her cheekbones as they caught the tears falling. “I’m okay.”

“I know,” she nodded, wanting to close her eyes to stop the tears but unable to look away from the green eyes that were the clearest she’d seen in days. She kissed him on the forehead before reluctantly pulling away, knowing someone else in the room needed a moment with him. “I love you.”

“I love you,” he replied as she moved to stand beside the bed. Barely a moment passed before Barry was enveloped in Joe’s arms. Joe held him as tightly as he dared, a cupped hand at the back of Barry’s head and one arm wrapped behind Barry’s back. Barry in return brought his arms up around Joe’s shoulders, holding him tight enough that his hand grabbed his own forearm. Joe wasn’t sure if it was him who was shaking or Barry, but relief washed over him in those few moments as he held his son.

Barry finally pulled back from the embrace, unfolding his arms from around his father. Joe kept his hands firmly holding onto Barry’s biceps, keeping the young man at arm's length. Joe noticed that the bandages that had been wrapped around the bullet and scalpel wound were gone, pink scars that indicated they were finally healing the only trace. In a matter of a few hours, they too would be gone thanks to Barry’s regenerative healing capabilities which had thankfully returned. But Joe couldn’t help the tears that sprung to his eyes as he traced the scars with his thumb.

“I’m okay, Joe,” Barry tried to reassure, eyes begging Joe to believe him.

“I’m gonna need you to reign it in, Barr. I don’t know how much more this old heart can take,” Joe spoke, smiling, choosing humor instead of crying in relief. Barry smiled back and as Joe pulled away, he brought his hand to Barry’s cheek, patting it affectionately before standing by his bedside.

“So what now?” Cisco asked. 

“Now, we let Barry rest up and finish healing,” Harry responds. 

“We take a breath, and then we get back to work,” Caitlin adds. 

“Then we have a mystery to solve,” Ralph chimes in, wiggling his eyebrows in excitement.

“We may have seen the last of Eiling, but something tells me this ‘boss’ isn’t going to wait too long to make an appearance,” Joe sighed, looking down at Barry.

“When do they ever?” Barry shrugged before meeting the gaze of each member of his team, his family. “But together you guys all saved me. Together, we can stop whatever comes next."


	7. Epilogue

'I am something'

____________________________________________________________________________

  

“Sir, what are we supposed to do now,” the agent asked. He’d been attempting to recover the deleted security footage from the base for the last two days with no success. The military personnel had been less than helpful, providing details of individuals they were already aware of associated with Barry Allen. Corporal Miller insisted he was held against his will by the Arrow to assist them to escape but had no knowledge of how they'd accomplished, having been knocked out after he served their purpose. The boss wasn't so sure.

“Now, we wait,” the lead agent, the boss as he had been nicknamed by his staff, replied. “If the Flash resumes his duties, we’ll know that Mr. Allen has survived.”

“And then, sir?”

“Then,” the boss spoke as adjusted his ever-present and identifiable horn-rimmed glasses, “we move on to phase 2. I’m sure Mr. Allen will enjoy Antartica as much as I have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story was over a year in the making and it is such a relief to have it completed and to share it! There is a sequel in the works, I don't have an expected date for that though. But thank you for reading!


End file.
